Trials faced by a Non-Conformist...

Right or wrong is relative, as long as the scope is limited to the individual.
If it doesn't affect anyone else, do whatever you please - that is what freedom
is all about.

Does anyone disagree with the statements above? How wonderful they sound;
and how naive too.Truth is that, we hate anyone who wont fit in to our
little categories and parameters.Rebel, Freak, Crazy...all the terms we use
to address those who have violated the unwritten yet strictly followed codes
of being Normal.

Another truth, everyone is abnormal. We all have some differences from the ideal
normal human.You might leave dishes in the sink for a day, Listen only to Yanni
and nothing else, have a penchant for wearing orange,call your mother 15 times in a day.
...A million differences from 'Normal' behavior.

Its ok to be different. What matters is how we deal with those who
are different from us.

The junta I am forced to share local oxygen with are retired supreme
court judges and self-appointed moral police.They believe that they
are better than me because I am not like them. I pity them.

The worst thing is when 'popular opinion starts floating around...',
which basically translates to a bunch of low-lives standing around
talking about someone who doesn't care about them and passing judgments
on that person. The reason those individuals do this is varied - starting
from superiority complex (+ condescending attitude) to Jealousy
(+inferiority complex), and uncovering a fascinatingly depraved
affinity to poke an olfactory organ into other people's businesses.

So when 'word is out, about you...' then those who weren't part of the first
group, accept it by default. There is simply no thought given to who's opinion
was it, what the relevance is, why at all a bunch of people were standing around
making comments...all such questions dont appear in the mind of the opinion acceptor
since it takes time and CPU utilization to process.

So what do people who are different do?
They conform. So its not normal to shirk away from shopping if you are a girl and
you'd rather play fear on the computer - grit your teeth and go shopping, buy the
pinkest, fluffiest piece of clothing, giggle while you are at it, Show how normal
you are.
Lose your individuality. Get swallowed by the homogenous images created for you.
Why?
To be accepted.
By who? the Nobel prize judgment committee? A person who realized God?
Maybe God him/herself? Nope.
Just a bunch of unemployed gossip mongers, who are the vocal chord of Society.
Why pay heed to such scum? Majority versus Minority. You cant be alone. It
just cant be done.

If I find the guy who invented the saying, "When in Rome...", I can only say that
he better have Life Insurance against death as result of Assault and Battery.
Whether in Rome or Antarctica, You have to be Yourself.

Today its frowned upon to spend extended hours with members of the opposite sex
and they don't like you for that. Tomorrow it might be because you nose is too long...
and before you know it, they try to spot all uniqueness and send them over to the
gas chambers.

Its 2007 but actually, 1984. And the Big Brother looms larger every minute.

Distopianly yours,
Rain

In pursuit of perception...

My creativity raises its lovely head just when my work pile has gone past the roof of my 56-floor office building. Nice. And a warm welcome to it too…

Everyone wonders if I ever made it to California last December. Whether I went past the Phoenix airport, or am I living there, eking out prosperity ‘The Terminal’ style…Just to put all your imaginations at ease.

I went to Sacremento from there. Met up with Bhoomz, Nitin and Kiriti. Headed out that very night to Reno along with Chintamani and Hema. Ran around Lake Tahoe and glided on the snow slopes there, drove along the breathtaking west coast to Monterey Bay and trekked in Big Sur.

Then spent a really wasteful couple of days in outer SFO with a relative, before being rescued by Kiriti in his dashing silver Mustang convertible an onwards to Folsom (where the junta and the action lay)

Booms took me to sight see in SFO after and then the gang (now including the charismatic Tarun and the genius that is Gajanan) set out to do stuff in Vegas that would ‘stay in Vegas’.

Then just a psychedelic flash of the high life began for poor naïve me. Didn’t see uncle Sun until vacation got over…our day began at 6 in the evening when we got out of bed and headed to the Casinos- those extravagant illusions of paradise, the roulette tables, the money, the gorgeous people all around.

The flattering fact that my age was verified soon turned into annoyance when it happened every single time [I mean, really, cant you SEE that I am above 18?]

Oh and if you thought that all that travel and all those first time experiences made this hugely exciting for me. You are really wrong!
Did I mention the people?
Did I let you know that we clicked from the word ‘Go’?

Oh Yes. We did. :)
So much so, that I didn’t want to come back to this life!
I still hope to head back there soon enough to join this nefarious and very scintillatingly brilliant band, sometime, somehow…

With just 3 girls, of whom 1 wasn’t counted (that is me J ),there was one proposal and acceptance; that too just minutes before the girl was leaving, in a wonderfully filmi way ( Hemz and King Kumar) and one romance in the making (Mani and Bhooms) – we were a movie all on our own!
Tragedy, Comedy, Romance, Action, Suspense …we had it all.

IF you are wondering abt the tragedy and suspense…well that was supplied by Southwest Airlines, who chose to let the checkin line extend from the gates well on to the highway thus ensuring my morning non-stop back is missed. Since this has happened to me the first time in my rather orderly (Stop snickering, you !) life, I was quite close to tears which greatly amused Bhoomz and Kiriti (who are veterans in taking alternate flights).

So with my 4 hour nonstop having been replaced by a 15 hour travel with 3 insipid hours in Chicago, I spent all of the New Year in very little comfort or/and Happiness.

I sincerely hoped that it would not reflect on the whole year that I missed something that was mine. But that happened inevitably…just 2 days later the promotion announcements came. I have been psychotic since.

My tremendous anger lashed out at nothing and everything, all at once. I reached some woe-begotten corner of my mind where only a handful of saints (Muthu, Booms and Gang, Gururajan…) were able to find me human anymore.

Now do you understand why I haven’t written a goddamn post since?
So this begs the question, why the post now?

The answer is simple. My perspective has changed a teeny-tiny bit.
I got in touch with or got to know in detail about the most horrendous trials and tribulations that these courageous women like Bhoomz, Vinoo, Jsree .etc. have undergone. I realize that they did not even blink at adversity.

They are still dealing with hardships in their personal/professional lives and still take time off to care about me obsessing over my non-issues. This made me feel small and mean.

As god be my witness, I declare, I have no issues at all. Yes, my circumstances are far from ideal. But I have all options open to make things better. I am strong, healthy, young and I mean a lot to my family and friends. I have only good things coming my way.
2007 and any year from here on is MINE.

There have been so many new things this year that promise good times ahead – A lovely Rogue Starter guitar (Thanks Kiriti), A new colleague who is loads of fun (and a self confessed Ladies Man – The one and only Dileep), my flute which made its US trip from the confines of my Pooja room in Chennai (thanks Kiriti for the inspiration), a somewhat clear roadmap to action events of 2007 (thanks to my family and the Colts Queen Brinda), A new club to organize and Head (CognOrators RULE!)

On to becoming a master flutist, guitar goddess (shall catch up with you someday you satanic sibling of mine), successful MBA grad and also a good daughter, sister and friend.
Rain