Of late I have had quite a few scraps in Orkut in what is apparently praise for my sarcasm.
In my time, (I am a quarter of century old, after all) I should have taken it as criticism, but it seems that these people are complimenting me. So this one is for the lovers of my negetivity, a special compilation of my 'feel-bad' thoughts on-myself.
End of Prologue
Its that time of the year when stock-taking of the year that has been is forced on one by the subliminal forces employed by the media who bombard the viewer with programs that deal with every facet of this year-best books, movies, events, people, politics, sport and entertainment.
I call 2005, “the Year that forced me into becoming very career minded”. There were several reasons for this to have happened. The really main ones are- not getting a call for any PGP course with the 04 CAT score, only a PGSEM from IIM B which I converted* but didn’t join, ‘cos I really didn’t want to, and my being put in a team that gave me enough work to keep me consistently busy. [*Great prep for the GD/PI for this time round, God willing.]
There were several new events that were spawned from my foray into the world of the serious sw professional:
- My blog writing has been very sporadic and sparse. [To the great relief of those who say- Blog writing is for the narcissist loser, who’s egocentrisms are more to be sympathized rather than paid attention to. Read- Desperate cry for attention by pathetic socially-stunted individuals who have filled the internet with more crap than a garbage dump]
- I actually want – promotion, appreciation and more work. None of which I have actually managed to procure for myself, with the exception of, obviously, the last mentioned. This sudden very bourgeois behavior from me has successful shocked even myself. For I, like most others, felt I was a cross between the bohemian weirdness of Phoebe and the acid tongue of Chandler- in all very anti-establishment and nihilistic.
- The fact that I was bypassed for promotion and appreciation because I did not let a total A$$#ole walk over me has made me more anti-establishment and nihilistic. In fact, I have promoted myself from weird to sociopathic.
- I have started spending- in a very big way; despite the fact that my salary in comparison with my friends/classmates of comparable qualification and work-ex, is a mere excuse for a pittance. Yes, Boys and Gals- its official, Rain is a Yuppie buyer of electronic items and casual attire.
- I read Dilbert’s book on management, companies, employees and bosses and ‘identified’ with it.
- I firmly am for career over personal life. There are 2 very good reasons for this- one that I do have a career and second reason that I shall not elaborate over.
- I am on the road to type B malnutrition, largely due to the combined efforts of my office caterer who studied nutrition in McDonalds and Muniyandi Vilas and my wonderful tendency to turn to calorific food for comfort.
Over the past 2 days I have read a whole quarter worth of newspaper and as a consequence depressed myself thoroughly. After all if newspapers were to print select and good articles that inspire hope and happiness- we would not get as much money from giving them to the raddi walla. While I drown myself in cocoa, saccharine and deep fried items, I cannot help but recall the totally skeptical expression that firmly placed itself over the face of the salesman who sold me 2 pairs of jeans of the size that we shall call X. You see, he was of the firm belief that X (which is sufficiently large enough a number, to embarrass a person, by itself) was not the correct size for me and suggested I go for X+2. My father intervened before I could put that smart-mouth in his place by crushing him to death with the bulk of my X+2 sized self.
Oh and if you are wondering why the bullet points and the overwhelming use of ‘I’, it’s a hangover from writing my self appraisal, which I must admit, has not been kind to my self-respect.
Thank god for Blogger, the provider of free therapeutic device called purging oneself of negativity via words that no one will read anyway. See, no harm done-all around!
Hoping I am not this caustic always for fear of accelerating global meltdown,