Wednesday, December 29, 2004

all about "The Blog"

This will mostly be my last post this year.
So I use this oppurtuinity to say the things I want to. And its all about "The Blog".
Blogger has been a pal to give me my corner to vent out my ravings. My blog is my insurance against insanity and at times the promoter of it... and I wouldnt want it any other way. Vindy is my blog rockstar, even if he cant manage to get as many hundreds of comments on his posts as Kiruba. Ramya[the brave journo], Harini [the frank mirror], Akshaya[support personified] ,Nidrajiva (PJ) and the most recent of them...Lean Dude[.....] are the kind of kindred souls I have been fortunate to contact, who I have come to admire incessantly in almost no time. This is no ordinary feat, I have never been so impressed by such a number of junta in all my life; Afterall, "i'm nothing if not critical" (Shakespeare said it in one of his plays and I couldnt have put it better)
So 'Blog' is the most popular word of 2004, quite relevant; I started in September this year and this has helped me feel less alien already [though the truth is out there still]. Writing and Reading, the chiefs of the few good habits I possess, which I had forsaken for the meaningless pursuit of marks and percentages in my college, came back to me though I was, in this case, the prodigal daughter [which is one heck of an inspirational book, do check it out if you are a girl or a non-chauvinist boy]
This is my most creatively meaningful bent ever. I feel liberated to pen my thoughts, have people read it [and people of such caliber too] and tell me what they think. My world has opened out with a really big bang. (all astronomical puns intended)
My friends, who lived in distant places, could be in on my everday life through this.
I was wished and encouraged and consoled, through this medium. The narrow-minded chennai myth was annihilated with Chennai boasting of the largest number of bloggers in general, and with those people writing about all the subjects and discussing things maturedly which a few years ago would have been completely taboo.
I grew up this year.
Yet, I am glad this year is coming to pass.

Though I am too old for blind optimism (and consequently the depths of despair), I am managing a year end cheer and a prayer for the next year to be magical for everyone. Hope and happiness for the tsunami victims is the main thing to pray for now [visit Lean Dude's blog to get the links for relief work]. My other main wish is for peace in the world. [ no time to be the practical cynic, my dear]

happy new year :D


*****deeply sad and personal post warning*********

its been an eventful set of days;to say the least.
I took a trip to tirupathi the day before the results came.
Then the results came.
one day after the results came I went to Hyderabad for Swetha's wedding.
PV Narasimha Rao and the VIPS who came to see him made my Hyd landing very smooth and tranquil(yeah right). Wedding went very well (the only thing that was good, I mean it)
Sunday morning the earth quaked and tidal waves wreaked havoc in my place at chennai.
I was far away then.
Monday travel back to my city was under the deep uneasiness of a rumor that said a very influential polician was in his deathbed (some said already dead) and there may be imminent rioting.
Good news, now that I am back, is the that Vindy got I call and suze seems to have gotten many more calls.
For me personally, its a very bitter and sad year end. I have nothing to look forward to except my ordinarily paced career. I thank god for giving me that, and my precious family safe and sound. I am never going back to PG again, if I can help it... Too many painful memories of lost hopes. I am happy for my friends who made it.
Thanks to Jai's very kind and considerate family for hosting us in our trip and swetha's family for their attentions to us despite all the pressures and responsibilities of the wedding.
A fervent wish for the health and the happiness of the newly weds.

God bless everyone.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Not good Enough

The CAT is out of the bag.
Didn't get a single call so far and there is only one IIM that hasnt declared the shortlist yet.
My percentile is good enough to make me burn at just how close I was to achieving my aim and still bad enough to understand that CAT2004 wasnt my exam at all.
If I think I should be feeling bad, I see a thread of posts from these guys who got 99 percentiles but havent got calls from BLACK.
Not even K.
This post was to have been a celebratory/congratulatory toast, its now a lament.
Since I am too dumb to be in the IIMs, I consider myself too stupid to express my feelings, so I employ the poetry of Emily Dickinson:-

Success is counted sweetest
By those who ne'er succeed.
To comprehend a nectar
Requires sorest need.
Not one of all the purple host
Who took the flag to-day
Can tell the definition,
So clear, of victory!
As he, defeated, dying,
On whose forbidden ear
The distant strains of triumph
Burst agonized and clear!

in mourning,

Friday, December 17, 2004

2 Brides 0 Prejudices

In the last two days, two of my very great friends have, separately, gotten engaged, to a very nice guy each. I really hope that came out well, my only other option was to say:
"day before yesterday one of my best friends got engaged. The very next day another of my best friends got engaged. "
If I chose the latter, I would become a textbook example of redundancy.

I am no Jane Austen. I am re-reading 'Pride & Prejudice' at the most relevant time, apart from the time before the release of the much hyped celluloid 'desi' version 'Bride and Prejudice. Its full of very great and witty [read extremely sarcastic] quotes. So its plausible, that I may reserve those for another occasion.
Unlike those 1800s ladies who's chief aim in life was to get married, my two friends are very warm, intelligent and pretty women who have taken a brave leap from the comfort of prolonged childhood that single life offers because they are ready to move on and establish new lives for themselves. They have been very blessed to meet the gentlemen who have assuaged their very normal fear of 'not-getting-Mr.Right'.The shores of America await the arrival of the soon to be Missuses in a couple of let me wish you both (B & S) with this card :

May God bless you with a lifetime of happiness and love, comfort and understanding,friendship and laughter.
After that pious thought, I am supposed to quote some pro-marriage/engagement quote. I didnt think any existed, since the ones I know are all very sarcastic

********************only for single people*************
(hence worth remembering, like "They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck."& "You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. ")
*****the engaged may continue from here*****************

So I dug deep to find something nice.
"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable." Bruce lee[I have to agree with whatever the Master says, he cannot be wrong.]
An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion. All is safe with a lady engaged; no harm can be done.--Jane Austen

to the 2 very special brides-to-be, "Have a lovely married life" :)

Sunday, December 12, 2004

A Woman of substance

"Music was her tapas", said my mother, fighting back her persistant tears, "write that."
Yesterday was a day of mourning for us, as we went by our routines with the initmate pang of bereavement uppermost in our minds.

"kurai ondrum illai, kanna" [I have no regrets, my dear krishna]-this sums up the essence of her colorful and inspirational life.
When M.S.Subbulakshmi lived and sang, she never paid a passing thought to her gender disadvantage in a conservative male-dominated society. There just was not even a whimper of protest as she climbed up to dizzying heights and achieved iconic status.
Yet, this was a lady who never made speeches about any need for 'female empowerment'; she is a point of reference that empowerment comes from within and is not to be expected to be 'given' by men.
A symbol of Indian womanhood in the UN assembly, she performed the song of universal love composed by the venerated saint of kanchi, sri paramacharya-"maitreem bhajata..".
Her onscreen performance of Meera, has made millions see her in their images of the mewar princess and bhakti saint. Grace personified, her song renditions over-powered the likes of Nehru, Gandhi and Rajagopalachari. She enthralled audiences; when she sang, she truely enjoyed it, her words came from her heart as well and her prayers were for everyone. This songbird was powerful. But she was exquisitely humble too.
M.S's selfless life is a slap in the face of our prevelent 'greed is good' way of life. she lived and died in houses that were not her own, the diamonds that so sparkled and yet couldnt match up to her vibrant notes were only for performances; whatever she made, she gave away to worthy causes.
I am no connoisseur of the divine carnatic music, infact, I am a very ordinary child of the 'cable TV' generation who's musical interests are predominantly western and range from retro rock n' roll to alternative and trance.
But, when I pray, I feel like my soul would sing out to god in the voice of M.S.
I have managed to learn half of 'Vishnu Sahasranamam' [1000 names of Lord Vishnu] under her indirect tutelage using her recording stored in my machine in mp3.
That voice, will live forever. M.S is immortal in my memories and prayers. She is the mixed with the essence of divinity.
Once my mourning period is over, she will, no doubt, go back to being my teacher and inspiration. Immortality means work forever.

Salutations to you, My great teacher

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Who is moved by cheese ?

Very often there are some words and lines that can be described as being 'so-bad-that-they-are-funny'. NOT!
They are characterized by the audience raising his/her eyebrows, mildly shaking the head and uttering compliments like 'You are hopeless', 'Boil yer head' or the occasional '*&*%#%&**&^&%!!!'. And if the receiver of the cheesy line could help it, he/she would like to avoid you like the plague for the rest of their natural lives.

A line is cheesy when it appears so obviously fulsome as to be an insult to the person spoken to or the person(s) who happen to hear it.
In some cases, cheesy lines when repeated over and over have the tendency to markedly obliterate any presence of IQ in the receiver of the cheese. In such cases, the victim starts to enjoy the cheese, and wants to spread it around.
If this phenomenal spread is not contained we as a species may be reduced to drooling idiots.
[as opposed to what we are now?]
The chief sources of cheesy lines are TV and Movies (they are also alleged to be the sources of all evil).
The list of big cheese moments:

"Titanic": Leonardo DiCaprio's "I'm the king of the world!"
"Dirty Dancing": Patrick Swayze's "Nobody puts Baby in the corner."
"Four Weddings And A Funeral": Andie MacDowell's "Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed."
"Ghost": Patrick Swayze's "Ditto," to Demi Moore's "I love you."
"Top Gun": Val Kilmer to Tom Cruise: "You can be my wingman anytime."
"Notting Hill": Julia Roberts' "I'm just a girl ... standing in front of a boy ... asking him to love her."
"Independence Day": Bill Pullman's "Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"
"Braveheart": Mel Gibson's "They may take our lives, but they will never take our freedom!"
"Jerry Maguire": Renee Zellweger to Tom Cruise: "You had me at hello."
"The Postman": A blind woman says to Kevin Costner: "You're a godsend, a savior." He replies: "No, I'm a postman."

Note:If I listed the list of Indian cheesy dialogues, I guess I would have to reproduce the entire scripts of all the movies made so far (by this I exclude Malayalam and Bengali movies which are mostly to be counted among the depressing art movies list)
So I will not be doing this.
End of Note

From constant exposure to the cheese dished out through these mediums, the common man/woman gets less sensitive to recognizing a cheesy line from its normal counterpart and starts to react to the corny/cheesy exclamations. Worst comes to worst when they start to insist on the use of such reeking language in their normal lives.
The second stage of the malady comes when the hallowed one-liners, that are so integral to romance is converted to pure drivel cheese. Please sample the exhibits below in full understanding of the dangers
cheesiest of the oneliners:

Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.

Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day.

Help, somethings wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you.

Please help the homeless. Take me home with you...

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
DISCLAIMER: the author has the above information only by means of research and claims to never have used any such line ever in her illustrious life. Better believe it, bucko!

I believe cheese is revered as a offering to the gods in ancient Europe and
wine and cheese is a delicacy in the west (although wine causing cheese to happen is a world-wide phenomenon), Mr.Jerry Mouse of Tom&Jerry fame, has made a career out of chasing cheese and we have all been enlightened by the great work "Who moved my cheese?" [the inspiration behind the title of this post]. But I, for one, would like to limit the cheese to my pizza toppings!!

"jeez! say cheese please"

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Pi the Tyger

I finished the 'Life of Pi'.
It was horrifying, revolting and interesting.
If I were an animal, what would I be? I would still be human.
Like in Pi's head he was a tiger, his mother was an Orangutan, the cook was the Hyena and the sailor was a zebra; I can't be anything else. Assuredly, this book does not have a pleasant after taste. Decidedly, I am going to have trouble eating for sometime.
Pi hits so close home. His view of Brahman, the longing for sambaar, the beach, the zoo, Ravi the cricketer... Too close for comfort.
Ultimately, its the spirit of survival that wins, despite the tortured psyche. In all a seemingly happy ending. I seriously wonder, if anyone can approach life normally after an account like that. Fertile grounds for a Hannibal Lecter in the making, if he had still taken Richard Parker with him, but very symbolically Pi says goodbye to that massive Tiger once he is rescued.
So its Martel saying, Pi is human again; anyway that part of time had never really gone away. It was there all along, taming the animal, knowing that being the animal was necessary to survive but never really losing sight of what he really is.
I hate castaway stories. I truely hate them. I loathe stories of utter desparation.
Desparation is like ghosts. If you believe they exist, you'll be seeing them everywhere, everytime the breeze lifts the curtains. Say ( and mean it when you say so) that there is no such thing, then you will be able to go through life without once encountering it. Probabilty is in favor of that. There should always be some thing we can do to make things better.

The Tiger as a symbol and an image has always fascinated me as most others, I am sure. Some poems live forever in the hearts of very un-poetic souls like me.who can forget that chilling ode to the Predator that William Blake wrote. I have read the entire works of Blake (liked one more called The Poison Tree-its all about communication). The book was given to me by my English teacher of middle school Rani Ma'am (who is almost the sole contributor to my taking up an interest in reading, writing and performing). She was quite thrilled that I liked Tyger, she even challenged me to recite it from memory. I did it.
(click pic to read the masterpiece)

Something of a religious feeling creeps in, doesn't it?

I know for those who havent read 'Life of Pi' or Blake's works (remember red dragon? reserved for a post on art :D !!) this entire post has been 'I came, I saw, I closed the Window';so due apologies. To those who are interested, I hope the links helped you know more. To those who identify-'Yaaay my target audience, please do say something...anything' For I eagerly await comments!! [as the occassion demands it]

did he who made aishwarya rai make me??

Monday, December 06, 2004

The Beach

Went to the beach after a year.
the random jottings that came off it, presented below:
Life at its most ordinary
just some people siting on the shores
tides crest and ebb incessantly
no memory remains only lores
of what consequence is anyone
in the grand majesty of the universe
does it really matter
whatever happens in prose or verse?
Just grains of sand on an infinite beach
Cold winds bite
salty waves burn into the skin
chills spread inward
soon everything passes akin
a child will not speak
and one more will not stay still
some were left to fend for themselves
others have help and they always will
fathes fails his children
a lady fought to keep afloat
she is blamed for the things she didnt know she did
random scatterings of the old
ships over in the yonder
coming or going?
stars above and all around
seeing or ignoring?
Why not just go all the way
swim against the tide
challenge the pull of the moon
merge with eternity

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Hungry Heart

The title is taken from the Japanese animation cartoon of the same name, aired in Animax [the only channel worth watching in the free-to-air channels list apart from Travel&Living]
The author in choosing this, subtly draws a parallel between herself and the lead character of the cartoon Kiyasuki Kano in the point that he is determined to make it to the Japanese national soccer team as she is to becoming an IIM graduate and great Business Manager. The fact that both these character consume great quantities of food is entirely incidental.
End of Preface

There are many factors that contribute to a good physique
Favourable genes and family traits towards being thin
a good lifestyle
a proper diet

This subject is known to me in theory only. I either dont have or dont follow the factors.Its not that god made me to be the way Gilbert Grape's mom was made.
But I unfortunately share bridget Jones's tendency to be 'always a little bit too plump'. [that is all I share with her]

When I was in hyderabad (up untill 6 months ago). I went to gym (everyday), played TT(everyday), ate only roti-sabji[healthy veg/pulses]-salad(everyday).
Now that I am back in the loving embrace of my family, I binge, crave and binge and crave ad infinitum.I can't gym except on weekends (which are better spent in the company of friends) and TT table is only a hazy result. I am my own grandma.
If I eat to just overcome my hunger and nothing more (that is 1/2th of stomach capacity with food + 1/4th with water ) I eat a little more in the next meal (approx. enough to feed a dozen captive, starved elephants).
I decide not to snack in between meals. When I reach home, my sister stays in close proximity to me... munching on some really unhealthy fried items/ creamy pasteries and such foodstuffs generally unwelcome to a serious dieter.
Give me some credit, I count to 10 before giving in.
When I try to reduce my meal size, its either
a] an insult to my mother's culinary skills,
b] me taking out my office pressures at home and specifically at food,
c] my attempts to procure anorexia (how far away i am from there... only I know)
so one may conclude my parents are not of much help in encouraging me to stick to my diet.

Conclusions and Future Plan:
Find motivation to stay in shape--> JUDE LAW
Get more stable emotionally.
Generally settle down to a frame of mind to let go of snacking.
leave home (go to college hostel)
Take up walking and TT

on a more general note,
Jai is coming home for a month before taking up her duties serving the Devil (Microsoft). that is to look forward to. :) [yaaaaay]
Vinoo is leaving to Hyderabad and susequently (maybe) elsewhere.
Mixed feelings on this one. [want her to be happy, want to be in the same city as her, atleast]
Hope to make a tour to meet all friends before next June. [when, all things going well, I will make it to IIM]

On my way to sustain myself (a.k.a lunch)