WARNING: Only for grown-ups and non-hypocritical people, for I have called a spade, 'a spade' here.
When I began the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series, I was happy in a very liberated small woman way. Here is a hero (to call her heroine, would be to say that she was merely meant to have romance scenes with the hero) who was only 5' 3" and could inspire terror in the heart or equivalent component of vampires, zombies, were-animals and your common garden variety man (yawn).
You also had these delicious guys who are dangerous on their own, yet moony when it comes to our no-nonsense Anita, who wears her devil may care attitude like a constant pair of Nikes.
Here I digress a little, by casting actors to each of these parts (yeah we are talking multiple guys here) just to illustrate the point I will make later on:
- Jean-Claude - Smooth Talking Master Vampire - Brad Pitt (very smoldery)
- Jason - Jean-Claude's pet werewolf - Hayden Christenson (naughty/dimples)
- Richard Zeeman - King of the werewolves - matt Damon on steroids (major nice guy)
- Asher - Jean-Claude's ex-boyfriend, also Vampire - Jude Law (mysterious and beautiful)
- Micah - King of the were leopards, shortie - Tom Cruise (likeable)
Yep, so one can infer the "Yawza!!" factor here...
To have one of these around would be romance-novel fodder, but here we have all of them and just our little heroine (now she starts to be one).
Before long, our lady is embroiled in various affairs in all possible combinations with the men/monsters mentioned above and my liberated spirit retched heavily, and I stopped reading.
I have the same complaint of Ayn 'Bloody'
Why can't the modern woman be represented in a more decent way?
Belonging to the afore mentioned category I can confidently state the common profile of the members: (Refer the cartoon)
- Well Educated
- Earning salary
- Decision making ability
- Career minded
- More of brains rather than beauty
From my perusal of literature and movies on central woman character, I have jotted down points "Top ten things about the heroine of a trashy script..."
1] The attractive new entrant into our Girl's [that is how the heroine will be referred to] life moves, smells, behaves like utter trouble.
(international terrorist, stealth assassin, vampire, werewolf, amnesiac...)
2] There is more than one major wonderful guy around, who is out to get our Girl; a sitch we know will give rise to moral dilemmas resulting in the most grossly outrageous solution.
(A vampire and his buddies, two mortal best friends, one mortal and his enemy/boss, Her childhood sweetie+highschool boyfriend+cute boss+fiancee, The guy who hates [but secretly pines for] her + her dependable boyfriend...commonly Husband vs. Ex)
3] our Girl has this best friend who has a wonderful and steady guy who just happens to be the buddy of one pouty Greek god of a male character. So, each central characters will run into the other while in the turf of the common friends.
When she has misunderstood him, the common friends enlighten her about to his "mother Teresa" side.
4] And each time our Girl "runs into" the Boy (one of the boys, atleast) she thinks "oh how my heart beats to be around this guy...I should avoid seeing him" but never gets around to doing just that.
5] When he meets our Girl, the boy has been doing one of the following activities:
- flexing muscles while lifting heavy things (helping old people is a plus),
- firing some reptilian individual who we know is coming back to bite buddy boy,
- making nasty or sarcastic quips about/to her,
- reading to the blind/taking care of children/any social service work,
- Working out in the gym or fighting a giant in the dojo.
So he is mostly angry, sweaty, busy (and or) dripping in blood.
4] There is one arch nemesis girl:
- who hates our Girl from high school
- is the competitor in office/Boss
- The pouty Greek god's ex...Etc.
Who is never given a good makeup person or/and wardrobe selector. This person is always in the throes of PMS and is obviously slutty (although by the end of the script the line between her sluttiness and our Girl's "giving in to her emotions" blurs considerably)
5] our Girl is never actually seen working. Only seen going to or coming from office, or the usual running into good-looking men at office.
6] Everyone loves her at office/in the neighborhood/in the family.
Our Girl has co-worker friends, neighbor friends and family that will lie down in front of traffic for her. Yet she is alone and longs for the Boy.
7] Our Girl never:
- throws tantrums (only has arguments with the hero(es) ending in sparks)
- is wrong
- dresses shabbily (looks sharp even while sleeping/after getting up)
- hits people (except the nemesis-which is an all out cat-fight)
8] No matter how little she makes, or in which crampy apartment she lives, our Girl never repeats an outfit at all and all her clothes are named after illustrious people-Gucci, Versace .etc.
9] Girl is surprised to find out that the stinky rich pouty Greek god is nuts about her. [I say, when you and he are the only super-good looking people among everyone you know, it’s quite obvious that he will secretly pine away for you.]
10] She cries when he proposes. He is only slightly less emotional. Our Girl pulls out all stops from then on.
This ladies and germs, is everything pop-culture has to offer as facets of the modern woman Pray, don't be fooled into accepting these as being based on facts.
Truth is out there,