Tuesday, December 02, 2008

When its hard to remain silent...

A couple of my dear friends here see my over-willingness to talk or express opinion as something to be curtailed for maintenance of my overall image as a lady of dignity. There are days when I agree with them and think one should talk less and work more, moderation is the best path in life and that Status Quo is a nice place to be. Now is not one of those days...

I have constantly refrained from expressing strong political and religious opinion in my blog here because they are my own and publishing about them only invites everyone else to join in and debate their validity. I like validation of my thoughts & beliefs only when I expressly ask for them and Now is not the time when I would like some.

From last wednesday night, here, till the end of friday there was rampant terror in a important part of my homeland. Until very recently, no one was able to tell for sure why...
Even now its difficult to justify the cause that has lead to so many unwarranted deaths, senseless tragedy and the standstill of a bustling metropolis.

The Media milked the situation for all that it possibly could. I have always been a fan of the television...but crossing the lines is something even the most devout tv lover cannot accept.
Why would you intensively follow the most secretive & elite attack force of the nation and give up to the second coverage on live TV of how many are going in, from where and other such details of the methodology being adopted to flush the militants who are holed up?
Its almost as good as planning escapes for them.
When there is a terror situation and the NSG Commandos are handling it, the secretive nature of their jobs should be protected and press conferences should happen at the end of the day when all the work was done.
Sensationalism should not trod on the feet of the brave people who are trying to save the day.
Get some priorities people!

Now the icing on the cake...the blame game. 
political parties blame each other, countries are casting asperations on one another in the most vile and undignified way possible ( this discussion made my blood boil, so there!) and we look like a sorry bunch of imbeciles.
Suddenly India is one of the top 10 dangerous places in the world to visit.
Great! As if New York and London suddenly got deserted by everyone because of the large scale terror attacks that they faced. Then why such harsh measures?
Didnt anyone catch the interview of Johnathan Ehrlich and his message about Mumbai?
"Mumbai is New York, New York is D.C., D.C. is Vancouver and Vancouver is Menlo Park or Toronto. These people don’t have any remorse, it is pure evil. And they need to be stopped. And what we all need to do is get on a plane, go to Mumbai, put our arms around these people. They’re fantastic and beautiful people, they need our support. And we need to go and show these people that we’re not afraid. We need to dust ourselves off, pick ourselves up and get back in the game. "

I may not agree with the man always but MK Gandhi had it spot on when he said - Non-cooperation with evil is as much a duty as is cooperation with good.
The people who caused the terror in Mumbai are pure, adulterated evil and to cower and simper is to give them the result they sought. Mumbai has proved its mettle many times before, her people will do it yet again and with panache...

New Delhi, however, is an entirely different picture...If only the politicians would let the law capture and punish perpetrators and their helpers without giving consideration to vote bank politics that highlights the caste, religion and minority-majority aspects...but that scenario is too fantastical to expect; pigs are likelier to take wing instead.
Its time indians learnt the difference between actual secularity & tolerance vs. not taking the stand that is required just to maintain the image of secularity & toleranance...as S Gurumurthy has so correctly stated here.

The neighbours who call themselves "peaceful", probably because no one else will, are helpless to prevent the terror from affecting their cities and are getting the threats from their brothers about take overs (not the organization kind) if they work with NATO. Quite ironical that a parliamentarian lady from that country said to India that "what you sow, so you reap".
How about you say that for yourselves first?

It is an unjust world where London born youth with all the oppurtuinity to make peaceful and educated decisions adopt religious matyrdom as their chosen path to glory and cause the misery to innocents Indian, American or Israeli. But its just another instance of the eternal struggle...its painful and saddening to be on the side of Good, but we will win.

A prayer for all the lives lost and left barely breathing...a wish for the survivors to find their way again.
Sarve bhavantu sukhinah
sarve santu niraamayah
sarve bhadrani pashyanthu
Ma kaschid dukha mapnuyat

Om Shanthi Shanthi Shanthihi,


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

No need to say goodbye

Quite a meaningful and simple song from the soundtrack of Narnia :Prince Caspian.
[Best lines of the movie-
Susan: It wouldnt have worked between us, anyway.
Caspian: why?
Susan: I am 1300 years older, after all.
me: ROTFL =))]
Without further ado, the lyrics of "The Call" by Regine Spektor (is it me or does her name sound like it was invented by the mind of JK Rowling)-

It started out as a feeling, which then grew into a hope.
which then turned to a quiet thought
which then turned into a quiet word.
And then that word grew louder and louder, till it was a Battle Cry
I'll come back, when you call me. No need to say goodbye.
Just because everything's changing
doesn't mean its never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
as you head off to the war.
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the line
You'll come back, its over
No need to say goodbye
you'll come back, when its over
no need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
Its just a feeling and no one knows yet
but just because they cant feel it too doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger and stronger,
till they're before your eyes.
You'll come back when they call you
no need to say goodbye
You'll come back when they call you
no need to say goodbye.

Works on many levels,

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Fall is here

Its a very cold autumn, almost a winter now.
We went to the White Mountains in New Hampshire last weekend and it was worth all the trudging in the marsh in the bitter cold, completely working the pink paded snow coat (with matching gloves & hat), all the panting and the puffing because the group got to be together for what could quite possibly be the last time.

Yes readers, we have a couple of weddings coming up...we have moved from single friends to friends and their significant others(who also became our friends) to finally become diseparate units of married couples and those that remain behind(mayor - yours truely).

Having landed in NH a week after peak fall season ended, the single tree in front of our rented cottage with the leaves in tact had maximum photo op. We cooked breakfast and dinner, ate together and drove around.
Now its done and done.

Future is left to look forward to,

Monday, October 13, 2008

Marma Desam - Land of the mysteries

October season here is the time for thrills and chill, Halloween will be here soon.
Our trip to Six Flags last weekend marked the first of the Ghouls Parade with the central fountain in the color of blood.
Relevantly enough, I discovered Rajshri site which let me view the one serial which I wanted to see desperately, when I was a school kid in chennai, but never actually managed to (until now)- "Vidathu Karuppu".

The opening/ending credits with the graphics of the fiery white horse galloping in the darkness remained in my memory so vividly that it literally transported me to the age of pigtails, brown paper covered notebooks and ink stained fingertips for a few minutes.

In a span of one week, I saw all 80 episodes and really marveled at almost all facets of this serial, be it the gripping screenplay, the mesmerizing direction of dangling scenes from past and present in every episode sprinkling it generously with red herrings to tie it neatly in the end, the vivid and wonderful cinematography or the very well etched out characters and acting.

It was a delicious melange of a story- An ancient crone, many years after meeting a gory end at the hands of a protective village deity that has since had a strong influence on the lives of the people of the village, still haunts her house and the minds of the many people who search for the jewels and the land contracts that she hid away.
A young doctor, Reena, comes into the village initially to help two of her friends get together but gets entangled in the layers of mystery in the village and wishes to disprove all the superstitious beliefs, whether it be unveiling vigilante Karuppu himself who metes out justice dispassionately from professed godhood or unraveling the clues left behind by the evil genius, Bulaku Pechi Aatha.
Also added to the chaos is her Chief Dr Nanda, who discovers that he has been chosen to come to Thottakaramangalam by the ancients for a specific role connected to an expected Avatar.

The cherry on top is the extremely accurate portrayal of the village life from the eyes of a child, the easter egg being each episode featured the young Rasu (protagonist) playing a different game or toy, most of which children now a days would not even recognize.

I would recommend this most vociferously to anyone who understands Tamil. This is NOT TO BE MISSED as its one really cool freebie :)

The reason this serial has stayed in mind, prompting me to atleast watch it decade after it was originally telecast, probably has to do with a coincidental back story.
We had only then discovered that our family deity was a Karuppana Swamy in the edge of a still undeveloped part of Orathanad in Thanjavur. I have only visited the temple once so far and still remember the dilapidated temple complex, the massive banyan trees growing amidst the crumbling bricks of a once vibrant and well maintained protective deity who had secured the vast agricultural lands that bordered, which once belonged to our family many many generations ago.

The image of the extremely large and powerful man, an epitome of unprejudiced justice, protection of the faithful aboard a flawlessly white horse, holding an intimidating Aruval is extremely fascinating in the most primeval way.
The Karuppu is human like in his love of liquor, hand rolled smokes and goat meat.

My maternal grandmother has told me of the time that her mother had, while walking back all alone in the night of a threatening, unlit and isolated brush path had prayed to the Ayyanar for his protection from all the dangers (natural and otherwise) in her path and had been heartened to hear the footfall sounds of a heavyset man wearing the salangai (loudly tinkling anklets) all the way to the entrance of her village. She also distinctly remembers her mother mentioning the strong smell of surutu(hand rolled tobacco cigars)which had accompanied the sound of the steps completely vanishing once she was near home and help. Sadly though, my great grandmother, never felt the need to turn around once to see her escort. Although he was a protector, apparently Ayyanar/Karupanna Swamy wasn't known to be a benevolent and loving deity.

My mother mentions either a friend of hers or his brother (I am vague as to exactly who) having encountered something very possibly like the Karuppu in the early daybreak in the village borders. He was apparently a giant of a man, casting off all doubt of his being human, who seemed to be calmly enjoying his suruttu and sarayam (country brewed liquor). When this person spoke out, the being noticing that there was company, just disappeared into the mists with eerie grace.

These anecdotes can probably be described either as illusions from a sleepy brain or a frightened mind eased by imagination; maybe even outright lies...nevertheless they excite and enthrall.

I am completely smitten by Naga's Marma Desam projects (hats off to him)and have started "Swarna Reygai" (Golden line of the palm). If it is as good as 'Vidathu...' then you will probably get to know about it from me soon.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Hymn of Creation

Its been on the back burner for quite many years now, that I wanted to find the theme for 'Bharat Ek Khoj'. A sudden fever to have it now resulted in my finding it but the story doesn't end quite so simply. Just listening to the chanting at the start of the theme, brought to mind the hymn of creation that I had scribbled in my diary as a 13 yr old (ancient days when information was not available at the click of the google search button, but had to be written down for future references). I had to read it now and was entirely thrilled to get it from the first link of my google search since my trusty diary was no where in the near vicinity (so much for future reference).

I am even more thrilled that blogspot is able to publish the sanskrit font as well as the english transliteration. Hope this brings you as much wonder and joy as it has brought me-
Just a simple hymn#10129 from the Rgveda-

नासदासीन नो सदासीत तदानीं नासीद रजो नो वयोमापरो यत |
किमावरीवः कुह कस्य शर्मन्नम्भः किमासीद गहनं गभीरम ||
न मर्त्युरासीदम्र्तं न तर्हि न रात्र्या अह्न आसीत्प्रकेतः |
आनीदवातं सवधया तदेकं तस्माद्धान्यन न परः किं चनास ||
तम आसीत तमसा गूळमग्रे.अप्रकेतं सलिलं सर्वमािदम |
तुछ्येनाभ्वपिहितं यदासीत तपसस्तन्महिनाजायतैकम ||
कामस्तदग्रे समवर्तताधि मनसो रेतः परथमं यदासीत |
सतो बन्धुमसति निरविन्दन हर्दि परतीष्याकवयो मनीषा ||
तिरश्चीनो विततो रश्मिरेषामधः सविदासी.अ.अ.अत |
रेतोधाासन महिमान आसन सवधा अवस्तात परयतिः परस्तात ||
को अद्धा वेद क इह पर वोचत कुत आजाता कुत इयंविस्र्ष्टिः |
अर्वाग देवा अस्य विसर्जनेनाथा को वेद यताबभूव ||
इयं विस्र्ष्टिर्यत आबभूव यदि वा दधे यदि वा न |
यो अस्याध्यक्षः परमे वयोमन सो अङग वेद यदि वा नवेद ||

English Translitration-
nāsadāsīn no sadāsīt tadānīṃ nāsīd rajo no vyomāparo yat |
kimāvarīvaḥ kuha kasya śarmannambhaḥ kimāsīd ghahanaṃ ghabhīram ||
na mṛtyurāsīdamṛtaṃ na tarhi na rātryā ahna āsītpraketaḥ |
ānīdavātaṃ svadhayā tadekaṃ tasmāddhānyan na paraḥ kiṃ canāsa ||
tama āsīt tamasā ghūḷamaghre.apraketaṃ salilaṃ sarvamāidam |
tuchyenābhvapihitaṃ yadāsīt tapasastanmahinājāyataikam ||
kāmastadaghre samavartatādhi manaso retaḥ prathamaṃ yadāsīt |
sato bandhumasati niravindan hṛdi pratīṣyākavayo manīṣā ||
tiraścīno vitato raśmireṣāmadhaḥ svidāsī.a.a.at |
retodhāāsan mahimāna āsan svadhā avastāt prayatiḥ parastāt ||
ko addhā veda ka iha pra vocat kuta ājātā kuta iyaṃvisṛṣṭiḥ |
arvāgh devā asya visarjanenāthā ko veda yataābabhūva ||
iyaṃ visṛṣṭiryata ābabhūva yadi vā dadhe yadi vā na |
yo asyādhyakṣaḥ parame vyoman so aṅgha veda yadi vā naveda ||

Not even nothing existed then
No air yet, nor a heaven.
Who encased and kept it where?
Was water in the darkness there?
Neither deathlessness nor decay
No, nor the rhythm of night and day:
The self-existent, with breath sans air:
That, and that alone was there.
Darkness was in darkness found
Like light-less water all around.
One emerged, with nothing on
It was from heat that this was born.
Into it, Desire, its way did find:
The primordial seed born of mind.
Sages know deep in the heart:
What exists is kin to what does not.
Across the void the cord was thrown,
The place of every thing was known.
Seed-sowers and powers now came by,
Impulse below and force on high.
Who really knows, and who can swear,
How creation came, when or where!
Even gods came after creation's day,
Who really knows, who can truly say
When and how did creation start?
Did He do it? Or did He not?
Only He, up there, knows, maybe;
Or perhaps, not even He.
This seems to be eerily similar to Navajo creation story called Dine Bahane which basically states that the creator is just thinking about Earth, darkness, skies, dawn and beauty. And just out of that everything has manifested. I intend to read the translation of the entire orally transmitted poetry and might revisit this topic and see how close this is to what has been stated in the Rgveda.

Sources of the content (many many thanks for the wonderful service to humankind)-
Sacred Texts

The video with the chanting & the translation-
Hymns From The Vedas - Creation
Hymn of Creation : Rigveda Nasadiya Sukta

charged by the mystical truths,

Monday, August 11, 2008

WE WON!!!!

PEOPLE...We finally have a gold medal!

Abhinav Bindra won the 10m Men's Air Rifle.
We saw the victory ceremony and we felt goosebumps when the proud anthem of India was played. This is a red-letter day and tomorrow we celebrate!!!

Here are some excerpts from the commentary-

The gold medalist with an outstanding score of 100.5 in the Final moving all the way up from starting in 4th place, Abhinav Bindra from India.
Bindra's final score was 104.5
Bindra lived at Colorado Springs for about 6 months several years ago and trained with the US team. He is a super kid and winning the gold medal couldn't have happened to a nicer Kid
Bindra's Final score of 104.5 was outstanding and carried him to the gold medal, even though he trailed by 2 points in the preliminary
Abhinav Bindra, India, who in the reigning World Champion, is now also the 2008 Gold Medalist. His final score is 700.5


proudly Indian, JAI HIND!!!

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Cards of fortune

Corporate card, in store card, library card, transit charge card....ALL of these cards are causing me such a lot of trouble that I am actually physically sick!!!
Also my 'you live, you learn' moment of the week is - Stay where you are and do not go out of the way to give anyone any importance because that will come back and bite you when no one is concerned about your absence.

Just caught the opening ceremony of the Summer Olympics at Beijing.
WHOA. The Chinese know how to put on one magnum opus of a show!

Indian contingent showed lack of uniformity and the commentators mentioned just how poor the sports infrastructure was even though we were mostly on the same page as China (who is a sports superstar) with respect to population and prosperity.

Cranky and sniffly,

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Building A Mystery

The Inspiration...
You come out at night
That's when the energy comes
And the dark side's light
And the vampires roam
You strut your rasta wear
And your suicide poem
And a cross from a faith that died
Before Jesus came
You're building a mystery

You live in a church
Where you sleep with voodoo dolls
And you won't give up the search
For the ghosts in the halls
You wear sandals in the snow
And a smile that won't wash away
Can you look out the window
Without your shadow getting in the way?
- Sara McLachlan - 'Building a Mystery'

The Creation...

He is not easy to read and she never felt like she could get to him when it mattered. All the moments they had in between were just a few flashes of his indulgence of her and not dropping of the wall he had built to keep her out.

The Rules would have her not speaking her mind to him so she appeared mysterious but it wouldn’t work for two main reasons – he wasn’t her Mr.Right, secondly he wasn’t speaking his mind to her.

Just once and in half jest she remarked that she didn’t know why she still hung around with him and he looked at her in a cold, clear way and repeated the question-
“Why? Why do you really?”
She faltered then like she knew what he would say next…
Suddenly she didn’t want to hear another word; it was almost as if she was afraid of what he meant to say in answer to his own questions, as if somehow those would be the cement on the last brick that would put him in a room blocked from her.

Then a period of mellow happiness would follow, making her forget the dark clouds of his penitent moods that only she seemed to observe or acknowledge. He was unfailingly polite and cool to everyone. It was easier to prove that ghosts exist than to have someone else understand that he was not as well-adjusted and sure as he seemed to be.

He always had two other thoughts in his head concurrently with his inane general conversations and that he deliberately always never paid any amount of concentration to anything she had to tell him- personally, over phone or by mail.

Yet he kept coming back. He always called if there was a silence from both ends for more than a couple of days. The weekends were always together. Together but apart.

He instigated some changes in her that she didn’t like. She suddenly wanted to be small and lovely. So that she could affect him in some way, make him look at her, really look at her and see her. She wished that he would think of her, miss her or look forward to seeing her. She wondered if she really loved him, or if she just loved the idea of wanting all that she can’t have. Did she crave the masochistic pain of constant bereavement of something that never was?

Would she want him if he also liked her back?
Probably not, she decided. After all allure of the mystery lasts only a finite number of pages. Besides it would be genre clash to mistake suspense for romance.

Just like that, the furrows of strain on her forehead disappeared to non-existence and a new train of thought occupied the neural pathways - correct time to switch to non-fiction for a while?

my first fiction,

Saturday, July 26, 2008

What are you made of?

Identity crisis is probably the backbone of blogging.
Its an endless source of material for art, literature and sculpture also, I suppose.

Lots of times in life you will ask yourself who you are and who's life is it that you are living...
It may be because you are a drama queen who's making up for the lack of real issues in life and on the other hand, you might be this way because you are constantly changing (Heraclitus rears his well-curled head and says - "I told you so" in greek), making it imperative to stop, consider and understand what/who/how you are at this instant of time.
This is when reading about existentialism and Advaita is actually interesting to those who's reading lists are the bibliography of James Patterson (love Kiss the Girls BTW *sheepish grin*).

Coincidentally (or should I lose the 'co'?) my thoughts at this juncture of my life (a milestone) about who I am now found a mirror in one of the most excellent movies I have seen in a long while - The Dark Knight. [GO SEE IT. NOW. THANK ME LATER]

At face value, its a superhero action movie, but the most clueless can see the intricacy of the script, the characterizations and the journey that we are taken on. I was talking to Ajay today about who stood out from among Batman and the arch nemesis - Joker (his question) and that brought us to the comparison of the two protagonists. Some not so obvious points became clear.

Batman/Bruce Wayne is an entity that is split and is in constant crisis about self, but the Joker, despite the unceasing eccentricity is ironically very sure about who he is. There is a kind of purity one sees in thought and action despite the concept being - Evil for its own sake (malum gratia malus ?) which is missing in our hero who personifies a doubtful and conflicted (hence weak) good. Bruce has many regrets - loss of his love to another man, lack of normal life (& sleeping hours) that he has had to face in the pursuit of justice but The Joker loves his job thoroughly and without exception.
But triumph of good over evil is a foregone conclusion because heroes are those of us who face all the crippling phases like ordinary folk - fear, regret, self-doubt; only they rise past all of that when they test their mettle. Batman overcomes his identity crisis.
He comes to the state of self realization and things get crystal clear.

I could probably go on about the movie, the actors, the caped anti-hero (that is what he is and he is proud---say it loud) but enough has been said by anyone (make that everyone) who watched it, so there isnt going to be more contribution to the white noise.
Rather like to focus on the aspect of being honest to yourself, after all who can know you better?
No harm if idea of yourself expires often, that is called growing up or evolving...but take the effort to get to know yourself. What do you like, what do you want, how do you feel, why do you think the way you do...this part can be disorienting and might feel like vertigo but its required.

I do know who I am currently- what I like and which are the things I might never do again or do at all. This moment of clarity has come at the price of time, effort, resources and is worth until its time to introspect on the next version of me.
Sugar and spice and everything nice; these are the ingredients for the perfect girls. (Remember Powepuff Girls?!)
Me? I am made of darkness, laser, cotton candy, stardust, steel, diamonds, roses, flowing water and magic. For now, atleast...

To thine own self, be true,

PS: Trinity has posted the most intensely haunting poem and I really recommend your trip to - https://tealspace.wordpress.com at your earliest disposal (GO NOW. THANK ME LATER!!!)

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Get Smart whether you know it or not

Two weekends have passed since I moved and I am still yet to spend both saturday-sunday nights at my new house. Last weekend was the American Independance Day long weekend and we were in a trip to Virginia and DC. Arunabh has already blogged about it but I am definitely going to have to suppliment that account with a post right here to ensure everyone's perspective is covered. Consider the above a trailer, if you will, for a soon to be released post. How about this past weekend, you may ask, so the story unfolds...

Yesterday was Aneesh's birthday and he is the baby of the group so I came from my new place, back to where I used to stay as the boys' neighbour until a forthnight ago, for his birthday celebration. And what a lovely celebration it was, consisting of Music, Dance, Violence, Comedy and some Romance (ever present if you put so many 23-28 yr olds together in a room). Some Comedy/Violence parts were even captured on tape and posted in a popular video site (courtesy Dinesh who seems to have a penchant for shooting people at their most unfortunate time - being beaten, getting ragged .etc.) I had a brilliant time and spent most of the night/early morning in hysterical fits of laughter.

Celebrations were planned to continue in the afternoon with 'Journey to the center of the Earth' [3D] but exactly 15 mins before the actual start of the showtime planned, it was found out that our friendly neighbourhood movie theatre only offered the 2D version thus draining the very reason why anyone would choose to go to the movie in the first place. By a curious twist of fate, we decided to go to the city to watch movie instead. Yuvaraj and the boys thought we were going to the city theatres to catch 'Journey..' in 3D while us girls were of the firm opinion that we were going to 'Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa'. Needless to say there was a bloodless coup ensuring that we ended up going for the latter, much to the chargin of a certain someone. Only, we were an hour and a half early for the next show!

This was highly disorienting for all of us since none of us had previously ever committed the faux paus of being over-early to anyplace. So we stood outside wondering how to kill time when someone said we should go to another movie if only to stay cool for the next hour and a half, so after a quick show of hands we voted to go in for 'Get Smart' and that was a serendiptously wonderful happening. Although he may be a part of the 'Frat Pack' (an astronomical no-no) I am a huge fan of Steve Carell. He simply cracks me up and comes across as a very intelligent, sweet and genuine guy in every character he plays (from The Office to Evan Almighty and to a very teeny-tiny extent 40yr old virgin) and Get Smart movie is such a feel good action comedy/ parody that it plays right into his strengths.

Anne Hathway is a nice surprise; otherwise known for her sugary sweet roles in Princess Diaries duology (is that what they call 2 movies in a series?) and Devil Wears Prada, she really makes you believe she is a badass field agent of C.O.N.T.R.O.L and her chemistry with a much older Steve Carell is really worth mentioning and definitely can't be missed. Rest of the cast also fit their roles so well that its a summer delight as the movie scampers at a brisk pace; a special shout out to Alan Arkin, The Rock and James Caan (a very funny President).
I may not have seen the serial that this movie is based on or the 60s original Get Smart movie but this movie is worth watching by itself (although some insider jokes may have been lost on me) and I sincerely hope the sequel (which are sure to follow) don't butcher all the positivity created here.

I was the last to leave the theatre of Get Smart as the rest were already in the one playing 'Jaane...' or in various stages of getting there. So the price I paid for watching Max Smart mini-harpoon himself yet again was the wonderful melody song that plays endlessly in my iPod this past week - 'Kabhi Kabhi, Aditi...'

When I breathlessly made it in, the young group in the movie were already graduating from college luckily that is when the story really picks up. So Aditi (from the eponymous song, aka Meow) and Jai (Singh Rathore or Rats) are really close among the group of 2 other boys and equal number of girls. As is true in most mixed groups there are mutliple love triangles- Rotlu has a one sided undeclared yet widely known feelings for Aditi (who along with jai is oblivous to it) and Bombs (Sandhya) has a crush on Jai (again...oblivious). And as a consequent resolution the two bond over their unrequited feeings. Jignesh (Jiggy) is a happy person who invites everyone to his own surprise birthday party, who's hair is a highlight (pun intended) and Shaleen is the cool guitar wielding punk dresser who sees what is going on all too clearly., i
The parents, in the film, are a bunch of excellent performancers from the best of yesteryear theatre and telly- Nasiruddin Shah keeps you in splits although he never even exceeds the confines of a frame, Ratna Pathak is the activist lawyer brainwashing her son into non-violence, Kitu Gidwani and Rajat Kapoor are the dark antithesis of the endearing couple of Jayanth Kriplani and Anuradha Patel (the beauty from Shilpa Kumkum covers!!!).
The young cast members have done neat jobs themselves. Good launch pad for the lead pair, aptly used by Imran, but I for one wasnt too impressed by Genelia, who according to my humble opinion has to work on her acting skills because cutie pie looks are transient.
The movie is refreshing, cute and many may connect with the storyline of friendship, how love seems to creep in somewhere unnoticed until its threatened by jealousy. Anyway, here is the spoiler - It ends on a happy note. [what a shocker!]

On the whole, a lovely entertainer with wholesome appeal to the whole family, another winner for Aamir Khan who already wowed yours truely with 'Taare Zameen Pe...' [which is in a whole different level of wonderful]

Doubly plied with feel-good so feeling good-good,

Saturday, June 28, 2008


The most poignant love story that I have seen in a long while, funnily enough, is between Robots.
I write this post enraptured by Disney-Pixar's "Wall - E"

Its a familiar story- a common guy (robot) meets fleetingly with a very sophisticated girl (robot), way above his league and falls for her immediately. Introduces her to all aspects of his erstwhile lonely existence (earth is evacuated) with his pet (cockroach). She leaves after her work is done and he follows her to deep space [Ahhhhh..........]

Its simply not possible to find love between two beings, this cute and pure had there been humans in place of the gadgety protagonists; a certain sense of cynicism or sarcasm is bound to peek its head. Also the debate of how much does 'love' play a part in the selfless pursuit rather than ...ahem the physical attraction. Here you cant accuse robots of such nefarious ulterior motives.

On the not-so-cute side, this is also a story about how human consumption is going to cost us the earth. Its about taking charge of your home, working for what matters...Struggling to stay in control rather than birds in a gilded cage. Quite obviously, this animation movie is probably best absorbed in all its nuances by the kids inside of adults. And as one such, I recommend this movie.
Its practical in its dystopian prediction for the future but its still a feel-good movie, a very nice one too.

To review the technical effort behind this movie is not my cuppa, I simply don't have the qualification to say anything. However, animation wise, my most favorite parts are the flawless enmeshing of video footage & animation and space travel parts.

To sum up **********

Not your usual cartoon movie,

Monday, June 23, 2008

Four Days in Beach Paradise

The Bahamas trip started on a whim to act on dreams that some of us had, of traveling to a beautiful Caribbean island and forgetting normal life, even if it was only for a few days.
The time was May 2008 and the place was Nassau, the capital of the Republic of The Bahamas.

The experiences from those 4 days were so complex, myriad and colorful that I have taken it for granted that I will probably never be able to successfully capture them in my words. All I intend to do here is just put in a few markers to stimulate my memory for a later time so as to recapture the stories and happenings engraved in the secret language of my mind.

Admittedly, its not comfortable for me to extol my virtues or the heights of my feelings of achievement or joy. I don’t even like seeing many ‘I’s in any of the content written (which is probably wrong grammar too).
But in order to best capture the fact that it was me who went about doing these incredible things and seeing beautiful sights in this island that still retains its quaint and picturesque British Colonial flavor, I suppress this aspect of me, and narrate the highlights of my trip-

I smiled non-stop for 2 hours at the sheer familiarity of the land (which seemed a dead ringer for some coastal Indian town) when we landed in Nassau,
I lived in a room which let me gaze into the ocean when I opened my eyes in the morning,
I dove down the Caribbean (where the depth was 65,00 feet, just a trench after where we were) and swam with the Reef Sharks,
I kissed a bottle-nosed dolphin called Salvador who proceeded to show off his football skills,
I swam among the rainbows of fishes in the blue-green lagoon,
I lost $60 dollars in 2 magical nights at The Atlantis,
I jigged on the road side when the parade of drummers and dancers passed us by and they called us to join them.
I drank unbelievable amounts of saline water and still held on to my bearings,
I was stung by Jelly fish while I gazed at a sunken Cessna Airplane made famous in Jaws,
I shopped in straw market where bargaining was the way of life and realized how much I had un-learned it in my time at the US,
I took a self portrait snap, underwater, while snorkeling which was universally reviewed as ‘scary’ among orkut friends,
I felt gratified when the local people called me ‘Pretty Girl’ in their oh-so-exotic lilting Caribbean English,
I ate every lunch in a Thai place which was the solitary source of quality vegetarian food, I played the demure damsel protected by the boys, on the night about town, when we were the only non-locals in Arawak Cay,
I splashed around with my friends in the hotel pool and was unsuccessful in teaching a certain person to swim (to his satisfaction),
I had my photograph taken swinging on a street lamp a-la ‘Singin in the Rain’,
I saw in my minds eye how clearly two people in love just seemed to ‘belong’,
I noted to my surprise that I didn’t mind 4 days without cell phone and internet,
I was happy to jump off the boat into the welcoming waters like a small uninhibited child,
I bought rum cake that Bahamas is famous for (Bacardi factory is situated in Nassau)

All this and a thousand more lovely moments- all of which I remember, most of which I have not documented, forms My Vacation to the Bahamas (a lovely addition to my passport entries). I thank the four other co-travelers for making this very special time so much more wonderful than I had ever hoped. The Bahamas is one place I would definitely revisit in a heartbeat; having said that its only fair to also point that some of us made a pact that when we come back for trip#2 we would be able to live in Atlantis resort (Which has to be seen to be believed)

Travel is the best education and I hope to be a world scholar in that way J

To this world, and beyond!

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Why dont you like me?

One more song inspired post...with my Ipod having formatted itself (a rare instance of artificial intelligence harakiri), I have been sampling some new delights, music wise.
A friend's post in Orkut linked this live performance of Mika, an artist I havent heard about.
The song was called 'GraceKelly', which intrigued me and I watched the watered down one man performance of the same and was thankful for it.

I read in the notes to the video that he wrote the song as a response to the Music Industry who wanted him to comply to their automated assembly line standards. To me, this could be any one of us at atleast some point of time in our lives, when we are so frustrated that people just dont want to let us be ourselves and you say -to hell with it, like me the way I am.
Its happened quite a lot of times with yours truely and for better or for worse, I am still me.

here are the lyrics, enjoy-
Do I attract you?Do I repulse you?
with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome,I could be loathsome
I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why dont you like me?Why dont you like me?
without making me try?

I try to be like Grace Kelly, But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie, I've gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

How can I help it, How can I help it
How can I help what you think?

Hello my baby, Hello my baby
Putting my life on the brink

Why dont you like me, Why dont you like me
Why dont you like yourself?

Should I bend over? Should I look older
just to be put on the shelf?

I try to be like Grace Kelly, But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie, Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown, I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful, I could be purple
I could be anything you like

Gotta be green, Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself
But you only want what everybody else says you should want

I could be brown, I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful, I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green, Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

I recommend the song, totally-

Friday, April 11, 2008

Easy Tonight

Nothing is easy. Here's something I am listening to a loop thanks to a certain sibling of mine...
From "Five for Fighting"-

You were wrong
You were right
You are gone

You were free
So alive
You were wrong
You were right

You were down
You could see
You wore hearts for me

You were sharp
Sharp as knives
You were wrong
You were right

Shot down... said you never had the chance
Took a ride on a suicide romance
Could have sworn there was somebody home
To facilitate the great unknown
Woman, I ain't going to meet you anywhere
Don't know where I'm going yet...
But I sure am getting there

Shotgun fire... anybody home?
I got two dimes in the telephone, Alright...
It's not easy tonight

You were bound
You were free
You wear black for me

You were dark
Dark as night
You were wrong
You were right

Shot down...said you never had the chance
Took a ride on a suicide romance
Could have sworn there was somebody home
To facilitate the great unknown
But woman, I ain't going to meet you anywhere
Don't know where I'm going yet...but I sure am getting there

Shotgun fire... anybody home?
I got two dimes in the telephone
Alright... it's not easy tonight

She's in over my head and it's not easy, it's not easy tonight

You were free. Now your not...You were free

Wednesday, April 09, 2008


The plague of our kind in this world is our innate obsession with oversimplifying anything.
We love our quotes, those condensed concoctions of voluminous philosophy. But one fine day, when you look into your inbox, where there is a new quote everyday sent in by some really enthusiastic person, with some amount of clarity in your otherwise completely pre-occupied head and some time to ponder (which, going by the trend of 2008 can also be defined as "Vacation") there is a chance you might feel slightly irritated with these condescending people of the past pushing their wisdom into your thoughts like cholesterol (the bad kind) in the guise of tasty junk food being pushed into the populace everywhere.
The theme being - "You asked for it. Now Enjoy."

To me, Quotes are simply personal opinions. Just because you are famous in your lifetime and people preserve your words doesnt mean they are essentially right. So many of Yogi Berra's quotes are famous because they are funny (hilarious even). Also, your wise and true observation of something at some point of time ( & History) may not be relevant when the world changes. Sometimes contradictory quotes for the same subject appear equally valid.

I felt the compulsion to state and publish my thoughts on this because of the following words that appeared in front of my face in Monotype Corsiva at 36 size-
" Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life."-Joan Lunden, in Healthy Living Magazine
To me that is utter crap. Granted that the guidelines to life are that you are supposed to stay happy for most of it, but imply that anger/hate/disgust is bad or unnatural is just sticking your head into the sand and pretending there is no sun.
You know which observation makes more sense to me with regards to the subject of the quote?This dialogue from a legendary movie starring a lead actor (called 41 below), who passed away recently.Yes, you remember this one-
"Your eyes are full of hate, Forty-one. That's good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength." -Quintus Arias
Here's to you Charlie boy! [* raises a plastic beverage holder of Mocha Frapuccino and takes a sip in honor of the newly dead]

One more of the pithys thrust upon my busy mind that I dont accept as taking into account all realities of life-
"Fortune helps the brave." Terence (185 BC - 159 BC), Phormio.
I am not even going to take the trouble to explain why I disagree.

When something is complex or multilayered, acknowledge that fact and give any topic its due. There are things that cannot be summarized into bullet points or amusing quotes. Things are rarely simple and thanks be to god for that!

Overcomplexified & loving it,

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Newfound Narcissism

Its official...I have put on back whatever weight I had lost, in just 2 weeks of lapsed time.
Nevertheless, the confidence in my looks that I had gotten for the first time, thanks largely to an excellent portrait photo by a friend in law, hasnt waned yet.

Today I had the good fortune to have yet another passably good portrait photo of me taken when I was least expecting it. I was just in my friends' to pick them up on our way to Valabha Ganapati Temple when I walked in on a full-fledged photoshoot and they were kind enough to include me in the last 3 shots. Although, I have firmly become the mayor of AuntyLand, I saw bits of my mother in my photos today and that made me happier about my appearance than I can remember being. She is a handsome woman. If I had more of her in me, I'd be very sought after!

Anyway, one more official news - I like how I look.
May not be earthshaking to most, but its quite significant that one should feel good about themselves. Even most transitory and materialistic parameter like how you look matters to your self image. Your self image in turn matters to your attitude, personality, confidence, how you present yourself to others and ultimately how others will see you. No new findings here, just that I am able to actually accept the stuff I have been just reading about for so long.

Now that I have moved to the pro-marriage camp (not that I was expressly against it at any time, just that I didnt want me married) its quite important that the looks factor and all the psychological issues behind it are sorted out ASAP (hate that word still, yes). I have been asked to make peace with the fact that potential grooms have only my grainy pictures to make up their minds for the first level of showing 'interest' (provided the horoscope, profile, age, vital statistics .etc. are all matching...which is a blooming miracle of probability).

Even if not with the intention of making me more nubile, I hope to atleast convert the new joy of me into wearing uncreased clothes to work and brushing my hair when I go out.

A Model Me,

Sunday, March 23, 2008

A Holi day!

It probably wouldn't be very far fetched if I were to state that I practically live in India. The demography of the locality of my residence is such that humans of other races are a rarity. I guess there are more firangs in some part of Bangalore [say] than this place!

Today dawned like any other saturday [and here I stop about my rising habits] and my wonderful friends decided at 2 that we are leaving at 3 to go to the New York International Auto Show [how typical really...Men!]. Then at 3.20, I was still at my house looking for something to hold up my recently loose pants [by way of my circumference reducing....Thanks to hectic project!] and made a frantic call to my girl pal who was also coming to ask if I can borrow hers when she informed me that there are people in the corridor waiting to ambush any desi that crosses the vicinity and that she was lulled into opening up the door by one of the guys in our gang [or "The Family" as its being called now on account of the supposed pairings that are rumored to exist]. Next thing she knew, she was colored bright pink by 10 strangers and one grinning turncoat, who she assumed was there to get her since we are going out.

Having listened to this moving story of triumph of human spirit ['Yaam petra sugam, peruga iv vaiyagam' - Let the joy I got be propagated to the rest of the universe], I still reiterated the importance of holding up of my pants for the rest of the day and she agreed to come over.
As I opened the door for her, she told me that "the people" were "attacking" the apt of the guys.

Naturally, I had to look in that direction! [As if anyone could have ever not looked]
Unsurprisingly, I was immediately spotted by the Holi Gang for the crime of still sporting my skin color and they made a turn to my house.
I pulled my friend in with my lightening quick, superhero reflexes and turned the lock of the door with almost suave yet rapid moves before the fastest of the predatory gang could even bring a toe into my threshold. Then I proceeded to calmly announce to the guests of my roommate about the dangers lurking outside, jerking them off from the comfortable states of relaxation that they were indulging in, in our living room. Meanwhile, outside there was a curious silence after some rapid shuffling of footsteps and I posed the question of whether anyone was outside [to no one in particular]...pat came a reply of my other friend from the other side of the firmly locked door [one of the guys who was 'attacked']
"They are here", he said [Poltergeist theme music plays].

Immediately there were thundering knocks that broke the spell of uneasy silence which had settled by then. Indistinct cries were heard which I assumed were encouraging me to open the door and introduce some color into my house and my rather terrified guests. I yelled to my unseen door knockers and asked them to not proceed with their plans as I had guests; an attempt which even I knew was nothing more than a grand gesture [Like when Moses marched up to a mighty Pharaoh and said - Let my people GO!...except, not as great as that]

Then, at that very nick between consecutive subdivisions of time, I knew what needed to be done. I marched out and firmly locked the door behind me. My state of readiness to go out be damned!
"Happy Holi" I said to the lively enthusiastic group of my countrymen [and I include women here] and they greeted me with a non-uniform and out of sync version of the same celebratory wish and proceed to turn me green and yellow. They were also kind enough to have me partake the Holi sweets and made my day even more wonderful!

Happy Holi, all...Spring is Welcome regardless of the name of the actual festival.
Go out and hug your neighbour, develop that feeling of community and make someone's day!

cannot take an Indian out of India ;)

Monday, March 17, 2008

Jaggery fusion & character search

Worked this weekend. Made Kozhukattais.

First batch came out well, second batch came fused and melted out of shape. My reviewers give it high rating for taste...I still think they are just being nice.

My office Bimbo status has spread into my social life with my rapid blinking at the midnight-early morning card marathon on sunday featuring me at my worst, slowest, uncomprehending version. The rest of the assembly had a good time ragging me for my alleged search for a 'junk character'...they intercepted a 3 AM call from my offshore and chose bits from my side of the conversation to concoct some racy story bearing no semblance to my sub par life.

Havent shot pool in a while and think that my amateur status may have undergone further demotion to novice yet again. As such, when anyone says 'ball in hand' everyone surreptitiously steals glances at me.

Someone, I greatly admire responded to my birthday wishes for him and asked if I read anything interesting lately. [Hollow mirthless laugh]

Migrations almost everyday and UAT client meetings at noon. My application stubbornly refuses to get any better and my boss isnt the 'cup half full' kinda guy so all around there is raining in the parade.[not a good rain]

Winds of change are blowing this way...nothing will remain the same again.


Thursday, March 13, 2008

Keys to organization

As a part of the training team headed by a tremendous spirit, I pretty much contribute nothing to the content of the sessions taken by him. He is a really highly placed executive with awesome energy and enthusiasm and its really inspiring to see how he works.

His last session was on "Organization". As part of the training team which supposedly compiles the content for the session, [100% the efforts of Big Boss all by his very brilliant lonesome], I get previews to the ppts and things he mentioned there struck a vein.

Read somewhere that if you can, at any point of time be able to locate as many of the following articles belonging to you without having to search for it, then it means you are not as hopelessly indisciplined as you would imagine [because, after all we always think the worst of ourselves]-
Your wallet, Your keys, Your office Ids, Your mobile phone[its charger], Your commute cards/change.

Me and Keys have "no love lost" relationship. This means that they have no love for me since I lose them a lot. Same goes with the rest of the articles above, but being stranded without house keys is a very poignant situation and I wonder why there were no major tragedies written on the subject. What is more utterly horrifying than sudden homelessness?

When I was living in my previous location in the States [part of my new drive to not reveal much...lets see how long that lasts] I locked myself and my roommate out, twice. Both times we were happy at Aafi's house and slept over to get the keys next morning [excuse to go late to office and wake up at 9 AM]. The one time that I left my house keys at office and came home to pick up a critical document that would lead to my getting repaid a significant amount, in my new place of residence, I had my friend come home early and went over to his house until my roommates arrived.
The fiscal loss however was a major motivation for me to keep my keys safe and I have had them since.

Today was entirely a different matter. I was in the audience section for this and a couple of nice girls are locked out. Dont worry for them because there is a whole gang of boys out to help them [as expected in any classic damsels in distress situations] and of course, there is always me [saving the world before bed time]
Not the time to gloat in what Roop calls "Relative Feel-Badness" but at least to note that Organized people are a minority and probably an endangered species. The movie "Idiocracy" expresses this not so secret message that we [Homo Sapien Sapiens] are evolving into morons.. The point of organization or remembering where you left your keys becomes moot if you are a drooling simpleton [my attempt at "Reframing a situation" :P]

Keying in,

Tuesday, March 04, 2008


My baby steps to directing a romantic comedy were thwarted by the cruel fates tonight.

There I was minding my own business when some lady on the street thrust 2 small boxes on my hand and very affably said - "Bizarre Foods at 10". I didnt think I could argue with that, so I left.
On my way to office I realized what had been given...1 box of sour cream and onion flavored crickets and another box of bacon and cheese flavored crickets.
Back in Office when we were wrapping up (for the night...its been quite long since I've seen evening) I took a video of A friend of mine eating one of the legs. "Its crunchy", she exclaimed.
Hence started my pet project to film as many open minded non-vegetarians as possible.

There is a very sad couple of friends/co-workers, where I live, who in the confines of our collective imagination, are crazy about each other. There was a loose plan to make a love story involving the Hero impressing the Heroine by munching the crickets and then she looking at him with dewey eyes and gasping- "You love me. You really love me!"

The friend who I initially filmed assured me that the guy was really cool and he wouldnt hesitate about eating the insects. The girl in the question (one who is being teased) also decided to be a good sport and was okay with giving the insect to the guy. Unfortunately, the premised to bring the person over to the house itself was very contrived and the guy brought in reinforcements [unexpected villian, throwing monkey wrench into the works] with him in alarm.

As a result, the giving the insect in hand became hiding insect in cake. Those mutinous dead insects didnt remain in hiding and the whole thing flopped. But all around the sportive folks partook the morsels [ate the crickets] but I didnt take videos in honor of their broadminds.

One important lesson:
Sneaky practical jokes are not my thing. I should have nothing to do with them now, just like I have had nothing to do with them for all of my life so far. Apparently , orchestrating one is very hard work and great planning. If I wanted to think so much, I would live in my office.

Chastened and sorry,

Monday, March 03, 2008

One Among Many

If there is one thing about our generation [and by that, I mean the ancients born in the early eighties...those stone ages] that clearly branches away from those who spawned us, its that we are more individualistic.
Most of us are flourishing, even when living alone; a concept that would've made someone from our parent's generation into a blubbery mess of codependencies. This is probably why they had you by the time they were your age, whereas in your world, signal for your peeps to start ragging you with anyone [however much of a stretch they have to make to do it] is if you happen to go out with them on two consecutive weekends. That is how uncool commitment is.

Being around people all the time, yet not having any deep relationships makes us actually disconnect with what is going on with folks our age inside of the private cells of our minds where our inner creatures run loose. Everything you face, seems to happen only to you in the entire mapped universe. So toad in the well...
Its reassuring to suddenly glance into some posts and see a connection - some related thoughts, an share experience...to know- You are just one of many. Going through the normal phases.

Say, you end up getting needlessly angry as to how unfair it is that people expect you to just 'meet' someone and marry that guy. You reason -Does that ever just happen? This day and age, who do you ever get to just meet a stranger?
You go to office, you come back home. You go out with friends only and since they are your friends, you have already met them.

But guess what? Its okay, that people bug you as to why you havent met Mr.Right. The question is not personal by any means...apparently its custom to ask that to anyone of your age group who isnt married, engaged, committed, seeing someone, seeing many people or multiple picks of previous options. Just in the last half hour I have read 2 posts of similar theme written by two very smart and honest women. :)

Say, you go to work everyday not knowing why you even bother. Every dream is to run away to some place unconnected by internet where no one knows your office mail id...You feel bad thinking you are so weak when facing your daily karma and then you read abt someone who also isnt thrilled with his work or wants to run away. It almost brings a smile to your face.
Not calmed that they are having issues; just that you arent the only one to have them and that its almost rite of passage.

Its a good thing I returned to writing and reading blogs, otherwise it would've been brutal to withstand peer pressure, thinking your are the only single 26 yr old of your profile in the Tri-state area, not very 'gruntled' with work. Oh and those are just examples...keep looking and you will see connections to everything.

I like my happiness personalized to me, the other part is better default/general.

Look ma, i am writing!

Friday, February 29, 2008

Awake...at last!

This blog post is dedicated to me.
Its addressed to me by myself and I will probably be the only person to read it also.

Funnily enough, sounds like I may have developed God Complex erstwhile known to affect only Cardiac and NeuroSurgeons [the alphas of medicine jungle], but its an outcry from an isolated padded cell I have created for my own expression [and I am not talking about the facial variety here]

Didn't I love to write? Wasn't I that exuberant person who was vocal with joy and sadness at equal measure? What happened that turned me completely around?

Can't figure out for the life of me. Just like Forrest Gump started running one fine day all the way until he suddenly decided to stop, I just didn't write for very very long and now have decided to break that. Just as good, at least I have taken baby steps away from the well I have been croaking in for the past years...

I will probably not make any money from this even if I were to add google adsense simply because I am not as good-as others, as I used to be, as required for making money with blogs in adsense...fill any option. What the heck, go crazy fill all the options...they fit anyway.
wait, there is more - I don't write about anything that google adsense can take keywords out of, because its all about ME and I am in no way connected with any commerce that can sell.
Yet I want to start writing again, rusty and degenerated as the posts maybe, I will start flexing my stiff muscles of creativity or expression. I should get good eventually, odds are good for regular practice to cause some improvements.

I feel an awakening today, to break out from the monotony of my mundane life; to get better, to be happy and not numb. I WANT ADRENALINE, ENDORPHINS - something...
I want a sensory load of new sights, sounds and experience...I want to KNOW, LEARN and UNDeRSTAND. I am clean slate waiting to be etched on...I am Joe's beginner enthusiasm...

Consciously want to avoid channelling Joe from Fight Club into my soul; its becoming disturbingly easy to connect with a drone who turns into a sociopath.
Valmiki would be the ideal...the primitive hunter who turns into an erudite sage and composes a masterpiece that survives the ages.

I could do with a surge of electricity to switch on my brain circuitry...Someone provide a boost!
Life is so transitory, I want to be alive for every moment of it...to savor all of its flavors and not stay boring and bland. Inactivity begone!