Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Rock Bottom

Pondering over the things that could possibly make a person hit this fabled extreme, I have drawn the following list-
A. Loss (of friends/loved ones) and/or Separation
B. Being broke
C. Having no prospects at all in studies and/or work
D. Homelessness and instability

What if someone is so lucky as to say yes to all of the above choices...Are they so deep down that a nadir seems like an eyerie?

Top 3 Cliched ways to see the bright side of crashing and burning -
3. There is no other way to go but up
2. You have nothing left to lose
and since we dont have any creditable image to live up to, lets entangle in the mesh of cliches and declare the winner #1 "its always darkest before dawn"

I'm so happy that I cant stop crying,

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Autogenerated Fortune

This is a really unfunny fortune predicted for me-
Today's fortune: You and your wife will be happy in your life together

Auto-generated crappy fortune predicting software is chauvinistic!

Will me and my husband be happy in my life together?
[Where is he, BTW]

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Limerick of Silence

Today I finished a significant task
but not in a way that, in joy, I can bask

Its just done
and a friend, if you're one

Nothing more about it, you will ask...


Thursday, October 11, 2007

A mutlitude of topics

Some people I like, like to cook and take great pride and joy in making culinary masterpieces and delicacies. One of them knows that she can set up a rocking restaurent if ever she feels the need to stop making money for an uncaring, faceless computer company and the other wants to run away and join the team in "Ace of Cakes" [For the uninitiated and those who dont watch the Food Network, these guys can make a whole cake typewriter!]

Me? I cook to eat and not vice versa (or was the question originally live to eat vs. eat to live??)The fact that I am alive and rotound should clearly be a shining tribute to the smackiness of my preparations and I have nothing to say/prove to those yukking smartypants who like to pretend that I cant cook. [mentally include a swear word for them...thanks]But lets proceed to that all important activity for life sustenance - Eating.

Of late my feelings for this once "strictly mandatory hence I am doing it" act has changed to that of "ooh i would like to eat that and that and that......" :) and love springs eternal!
I have become a foodie, my people!

Does that spell furthering of my width-wise expansion? profound yet logical train of thought says YES.
Is it going to make any difference? probability of me ever finding out that I am the Fattest person ever is zilch, so what is the big difference in being fatter than a million and 24567 people as opposed to be fatter than a million?Zilch again! Hence the munching continues.

Forces of evil (Read-the fashion industry) are trying to stop this run of food enjoyment by subliminal messaging in a not so subtle way. of all the places in a trouser, they have printed a string of keywords in a loop around the waistband that says "Feel Feminine Discover Be Confident Beautiful...." etc in pretty italics only so that the wearer while casting her eyes on them will feel the obligation to stay away from anything that affects the waist. But the dark side is not getting to me one bit as the following have a stronger hold on yours truely - Potato dishes, Burrito Bols, Soy burgers, Subs, Pop Corn, icecream, waffles, Spicy Veggies....Ummmmmmmmm [author drools and the keyboard short-circuits]

Speaking of pants, I have inadvertantly stolen the innocence of two of my male friends while venting the unfair practices of the sadistic fashion industry by depriving women the essence of trousers - the pockets. I also rectified the situation by asking them to feign surprise/ignorance when their significant lady discusses this with them. That may seem not so positive but it will prevent the following scenario:
Her: So my keys/lipstick/card is in the handbag somewhere [rummages a trendy bag that once used to be a part of some reptile]
Him: [typical lack of patience] I wonder why you have to mess with putting everything in that bag. It'd be a lot better if you had pockets in your pants like I do.
Her: [bag forgotten, focussing lasers on the target] How did you ever find out that womens pants dont have pockets...[Quick flashback of dialogues from several Romance novels/movies - "You are the only girl/lady/woman in my life"]
Him: Um...Ahh....Uhhh [a dull alarm ringing sound in the back of the head indicating fatal danger prevents any coherent thought]
[Everything goes black and there is a shrill scream of a dying animal]

So with the weather turning wet and chilly and me not having enough exercise to justify the eating, I am going to have to rethink my new love, but not right away [Eternal Procastinator]. Yes, Fall has arrived late this year but it has and several batches of my friends have made the pilgrimage to New Hampshire with due religious fervor. I was planning to go last weekend but there was no accomodation available [I mean the Columbus weekend had 60K people going into that tiny little state] and whatever was bookable seemed to have the following words (occuring one or more times) to describe itself - Romantic, Couple, Firelight, Jacuzzi, Getaway, Rekindle, Honeymoon, Wedding...which by itself was a big turn off for me, but the honest version of the rooms description should've used the following words - Old, overpriced, wishful thinking, no free breakfast, is he kidding me, expensive as hell, what-would-I-do-with-a-jacuzzi-in-the-living-room.etc.

Thats ok, I have better, more rocking travelling plans that makes these Fall Drive tours to pale in comparison!:)

Eat, Drink and Be Merry,