Thursday, June 22, 2006

unbreak my blog

So my black dot is back to mar the aesthically white world.
I did nothing to put it out of action and did nothing else other than publishing a new post to put it back together again (unlike Dumpty, Humpty who is predictably gone pieces although not because of this)

I am spending my days in an untiring effort to finish reading as many books as I possibly can and watch as many movies as well. Not an enriching exercise for my brain (or what is left of it) but I am at peace with the world. Numbness is worth the killing of neurons sometimes.

I unbroke my blog.
Now I go to read some more books and watch some more movies.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Krishna comes home...

Finally, I bought a laptop and am going to connect with family and friends, get back to serious blogging, learn a lot .etc.!!!
I have named him SriKrishna after my favorite representative of God on earth :)

Juvenile as it is, I name the non-living things if they are important to me.
My cycle had a name, remember Chetak? and the two wheeler's name is Rampyari.

Anyway me and Krishna are going to share a long, healthy and rewarding friendship.
I am back!!

First post with Krishna,

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Home and Away

Hi Everyone,
This will be my attempt to condense 3 months of my life and present it to those who care.
A quarter is not significant in itself. I have spent almost all my quarters in life doing next to nothing...

But these 3 months have been very special.
For one, I am in a different continent now. I always thought I could not be who I am without my motherland for she is a vital part of my identity. Now that I have survived (even flourished) away from India I cannot help but repeat the cliche - "You can take an Indian out of India, but you cannot take India out of an Indian"

I visit temple, once a week, without fail here. I go to every Indian concert I can possibly attend and I speak my native language far more here than I did back home. In short, I am more Indian here :)

Second comes the point of independance. This doesnt mean I was under someone's control before (that has never happened in my entire life). What I want to convey is that I am responsible for myself now. I take care of my own house, my bank balance, my social life and my health. Most girls just get transferred from being the responsibility of parents to being the responsibility of their husbands. Thankfully, I have the best way out. I am living my own life, in my terms and am answerable only to myself.

THird and more related issue is that of 'fitting in'. Now that you have established your independance, you have to be strong enough in every way to be able to find a place for yourself in an alien environment. Our world here is very small. Everyone knows everyone else. Its like being in a very beautiful and well-equipped commune. So you are the new guy and rest of them have solid bonds between themselves already. THankfully for me, its been a breeze with everyone welcoming me with open arms.
Its not all roses though, I am hitting rough patches with 'certain' people and god knows, I am not a very easy person to handle, not everyone's cup of tea myself; so its a mutual kind of fitting in problem.

Fourth is just how much I am learning and experiencing!!!
Feel really grown up suddenly :)
I have gone from the person who used to hesitate from going to Adayar from mylapore to being the one who jets to Frankfurt, DC, New York, Cleveland...list should keep growing (God Willing).
My work has shifted from just coding a narrow part of a mute system to the one who talks to the client, understands their needs, understands the business and the part I am supposed to play to get the things done. Job Satisfaction is pretty high [touch wood]
Money is a concern, most definitely. Hope to make more, always planning to budget and save more... Going to learn to actually achieve that soon.
Although I read extensively, I am able to understand that my thinking has not been wide in any sense of the word. Here I am forced to contend with the thinking of complete strangers who have been thrown in with me in this crazy life. People from varied backgrounds who live, play and work with me and I see just how different we can be in thought, speech and action. I am a fan of non-conformance and I appreciate the variety I see in them. Sometimes I see light in trains of thought that I would consider bizarre.

I have a new sense of the importance of my family, my country and my culture. Beginning to understand that I would do anything for them is a jolt for me, because I am thinking more like an induvidual than a collective organism that consists of my family and friends.

Suddenly when it seems that Rain has achieved ultimate understanding and you expect me to preach peace & love in a toga with flowers in my open hair, let me bring you to reality. I am still me.
I still cant sleep at nights, addicted to TV, movies and books, very opposite of Ms.Congeniality, argue with anyone and everyone at the drop of a hat...none of that has changed.

More detailed catchup posts will follow. This was just an overview :)

Still looking for 'nirvana',