Saturday, November 28, 2009

Memories of 15 years ago

I added Hulu to my blog's editable links as a nod to the great service it provides people like me (who's roommates will not split cable costs). Over the course of the better part of this year, it has given me access to the latest in must see TV(Jon Stewart & Colbert Report) and the rest of TV. Since the two greatest pundits are on Thanksgiving break, I had to dig into the archives for something else to occupy the time in between my sleeping breaks and found for myself, the full seasons of REMINGTON STEELE.

It took me back to a time when I was in my early teens and did things like free hand draw the skulls of all the primate ancestors for social science projects. I didn't have cable TV.
Apparently my Social Science teacher was impressed enough with my free hand drawing skills to ask us to make a larger version of the tree on which the skulls were arranged for the 25th year of school exhibition.
My school friend Varalakshmi asked me over and we had the very best time at her house having finished the project within the first hour or so (my free hand sketching skills peaked early apparently), we spent the rest of the day watching cable tv - M.A.S.H (love the oh so droll Hawkeye) and the Around the world in 80 days miniseries starring the same handsome man (said she) who was'Remington Steele'.
Pray tell, said I,what a Remington Steele is (I peaked early on Shakespeare based stage acting also). We also discovered a common passion for the Rat Pack, especially Ol Blue eyes Sinatra; now that I think about it, its extremely fascinating for a 13 year olds from madras of the early 90s to have that particular taste. But that is for another discussion.
I think I can still recall Vara's excited rendition of the premise behind the masterful plot of Remington Steele; the woman PI who for getting business in a man's world invented a Boss called (guess) and in walks this suave guy who answers to that very name. He is never able to solve the cases, Laura does all the work but he BSes (we didn't swear back then so I'm paraphrasing) his way out of the episode finales.

I hate smarmy, uppity creatures. Still do.
I sincerely mistrust anyone who's hair is perfectly brushed at all times.
Also feel violent dislike for anyone who smiles with lips pulled back at just one side.
Remington Steele was all these things and then some.

Nevertheless, it was great fun catching a blast from the past; especially since it ties with my memories of Vara. We've not met since end of school and I heard from unverified sources that she is married and with kid(s) in the states.

Hope you are having fun, Varalakshmi.

Friday, November 27, 2009

The Fountain

The movie is intense, creepy and a total trip.

Stories interweave into each other, the central narrative of a Doctor researching tumor removing medicines for his dying writer wife blends mystically into imaginings of her last book which has the same title as the movie, about spanish conquistador's(who's name is the same as the research doctor) in the mayan jungles looking for the tree of life for his Queen (who has the same name as the wife). In between these two parallels are the indescribable scenes of an ageless man tending the drying tree of life encapsulated in a bubble that is hurling in the heavens towards shibalba. The effect was deeply spiritual and personal at the same time.

Rachel Weisz does a neat essay as the obsession of the protagonist and the whole surprise package (other than the fact that I liked it) is Hugh Jackman's portrayal as the grieving husband, his emotions raw and painful.

The haunting imagery hits so close home that it brought goosebumps- first snow, writing witha black fountain pen, stargazing, an unfinished novel and a ring that connects (which goes missing).
The last 20 minutes of the movie were possibly result of a cocktail of drugs taken together and the visions recorded but they just blew my mind. The A-ha moment of the movie is quite literally - memento mori. Birth from Death. Love Forever.

"All these years, all these memories, there was you. You pulled me through time."

Death is something I've never been able to accept or face bravely so this movie was quite an intense journey for me. The beautiful and ethereal background score just heightened the experience. This was a brilliant movie.

We will live forever,

Saturday, November 07, 2009

The place of the silent 'T'

I love The Colbert Report and I think Stephen Colbert rocks.
D and I went to the taping last month and it was everything we expected it to be - funny, smart and entertaining. But I should definitely state my disappointment with Stephen himself.

Don't get me wrong, he was a comedy king that evening like he is always. He rocked a monologue that was an utter tongue twister with literally no practice because that was a last minute rewrite. He has to be a genius to have pulled it off so flawlessly.

Subsequently, he certainly deserves the rock star treatment but it felt sad that people who make sense to you , who you spend so much time following on TV and twitter and who you really like are just so very distant and not as friendly as you'd expect. [Also we were made to stand for nearly 3 hours before the shooting started and I'm still having the swelling on my ankles from the strain]
This is why I hate meeting celebrities.
Living in the big apple, I have run into more than my due of famous and beautiful people and I'm still yet to meet one who is actually nice in person.

I'll be going to the Jon Stewart show taping next month.
I adore the man, so I will just go there, scream my support and come back after enjoying the show. I won't expect him to take time to talk to the audience or connect with every day people.

(Also won't pray hard that the guest should be Daniel Craig and then be disappointed again)

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Browsing away

Now that I am back to living on my own with nary a soul to care for my well being or being at all, in this entire side of the world...I am also back to living online. Amidst waiting for my family to log in and enquire what's up with me every 12 hours (and my responding with "nothing" each and every time) I browse around picking up a million things (all useless, I am sure) I find interesting.  
My space geek and a sci-fi nut side (which is practically the whole of me) totally loved and identified with this article... so read it -  
Nothing like a true creepy space story to chill you on a fall halloween weekend! 
I'm a bit of a fan boy but not really a nerd because I am not very knowledgable in gadgets - their use, manufacture, need, alternatives or troubleshooting. This is shameful because I work in the related field and am popularly viewed (very mistakenly) among the masses as a pundit of sorts, probably because I used to wear glasses until recently and have a lot of forehead lines. But even a false gadget nerd like me was interested by this very illuminating article because of how sheerly relevant it was -
Having forked out a gazillion dollars on electronics for my family, I estimate atleast an equivalent sum has been invested back home in just purchasing adapters for using the stuff bought here. Awesome. 
Not all of my current soaking of information has been pleasant. There are always these weeds that are increasingly populating the garden that is the world wide web. Some real life low-lives and definition of douche bags who are "the story" in all news and/or other sites. Idiots who can't keep it in their pants and get famous for that, morons who leave their families and pretend they are 17, 2 young people who are a couple or just "good friends",who split and unsplit alternating every day and may or may not be pregnant. 
I would love it if they went away somewhere and never came back. I refuse to mention their names and increase the hits when some airheaded preteen googles them instead of spending her time learning, playing sports or spending time with her family. So There.  
It would do to get some global perspective if the energies devoted to the above could be redirected. Standards need to be raised all around. People are not stupid. They don't have to be treated like they are. Then it becomes a self fullfilling prophecy.
Its quite appalling that a person with any diction and hold of grammar is considered condescending and superlicious. This I see increasingly in op-ed columns and article comments; for example use of "Herewith" was condemned by almost a whole angry e-mob. Get out the pitchforks, why dont you?  
Another deeply upsetting occurrance is the frequency and the quality of the updates of your loved ones on social networking sites. Someone who keeps uploading pictures of herself by the tanker-ful (accompanied by a bunch of creepy friends who put in comments on all of those 2 trillion photos with just nano seconds between the upload and the posting) thus displaying the nympho side of herself, people who find Farmville/Mafia/<> addictive (OMG! I really tried to get on level with that but simply can't get myself to do this.), a blood relative who takes all quizzes that make you cringe and proudly publishes the results to those (and that person's accompanying set of obsessed fans who immediately comment on the update). 
I am very seriously considering retiring from both the sites I currently am active in for the fear of turning into one of the above from just prolonged use. These people are ones I know/raised from babyhood/adore in real life and their social networking personas are insulting to them in complete contrast to how intelligent and talented they actually are. 
God knows I havent been the best judge or made the correct calls always. Its a lifelong process.  
Far from perfect but learning little everyday,

Sunday, August 30, 2009

View from the top

I did it.

I finally moved and it just so happened, my room is at the last floor of a high rise.
I sit here and see blue skies and clouds outside my window. I see office from here.

Sure the getting the elevator and having it stop in each and every floor till there is no oxygen left is a huge test in the patience that I don't really have but I'm on top now.

As small as this room is, its entirely mine. That is just brilliant.

Still settling in,

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Inevitability of Ugly Singleton Invisibility

As an amateur social theorist, a watcher of human relations and with my experiences of being myself...I've had certain consistent results come through, over a period of time, based on which I have come to the conclusion that under some specific conditions a person can become invisible or even completely disappear.
Here's my pseudocode for this condition:

(AGE >= x) &

The silver lining for this is that the blurring of existence is only on the physical plane.
In cyberspace you are as alive as the frequency of your social networking/microblogging site updates.
That way you can have friends who'll know what you are up to without them actually having to be with you (or care in the very least).
And that works great for them.

Here's my semi-autobiographical panel-

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Restless legs, dead inside

The west wind is speaking to me again and not in a way that would require me to undergo schizophrenia therapy; its a reference to 'Chocolat' which is a great movie. I am getting the restless legs indicative of dusting up my luggage and moving on to a heretofore undiscovered frontier.
Should it be a permanent move back? Would it just be a month long vacation to my home? Or is it indicative of some divine/heavenly change in my destiny?
Dont Know.

All I know is that something has to change somewhere. If its not forthcoming on its own then I will initiate it.
You see, along with Restless legs comes the baseless courage of the extremely brave and the totally stupid, to just take a plunge along the edge of the waterfall and see where it takes you.
The very minimum risks that I used balk at are not even appearing to me (in my current mindset) worthy of pondering for a second more.
It could well be that I am so tired of stagnancy that I would rather run the odds of going bust than just stay where I am.

Also, I miss my family. I haven't seen them in nearly two years now and of late, I feel very incomplete by myself.
This statement would shock my sister [at the very minimum] because we are not a very openly emotional or affectionate family. But even she knows that jokes apart we are bound by everything from genetics to metaphysics (spiritual).
It didn't help repair my mood to have spent this last saturday meeting my college mates (all married and talking kids),playing a couple of cutie-pie little girls at different points of the day(their respective mothers are younger than me) and meeting the parents-in law of B (who's sooo very svelte - she should be in the movies).
On the contrary, it might have excerbated the situation making me feel more disconnected with my current life and very dissatisfied.

Quite obviously there is great scope for crash and burn and very little good that can come from decisions made now.
But I feel like if I miss this bus, ignore this tidal wave sweeping within me and let it peak and crash without any break from routine that I would miss the proverbial knock of opputuinity.
That I would condemn myself to the hell of regularity.

My reactions to the present are so violent I actually feel very nauseous right now when I letting myself feel.
Reminds me of the character of Rochette in 'Public Enemies' (it was cool) who gets entangled with John Dillinger knowingly when he's been declared 'Public Enemy #1' in the country.
She explains to him that she lived in the reservation where nothing happened and moved out to her Aunty's for sometime where again nothing happened, till she finally came to Prohibition era Chicago and became a coat-check girl.
Quite obviously, that was not a very good call she made becoming 'his girl' [how very deliciously archaic!] considering she was intelligent enough to always know how things would turn out eventually.

And despite all my strong feelings on boredom and monotony of my life, I am not likely to strike up romance with some known felon...the desparate, reactive move could be on some other front.
Right now we have an all out battle between my self-preservation instinct and the combined forces of outrage over negetive career growth, homesickness, jealousy and boredom.
In the meanwhile, I am supressing all the negetivity in me which prevents me from appreciating anything wholesome.
I didn't even like 'Ice Age 3' because I am dead inside [Couple of ladies assured me that its not so on Fbk butI know better]

I am listless, vapid, impatient, angry and prone to shrewish behavior. I fear having become one of those perennially frustrated spinsters that everyone hates.
Like a bird caught in a cage, a fly tied to a web...awaiting slow torture and bad results but unable to get away. Threshing and spuring but sinking faster into the quicksand.

"Boredom is an emptiness filled with insistence."

The Empire that struck my fancy

An Indian cannot but help being slightly British. Why else would a three year old in Madras be taught to sing about the calamities that befell UK - London Bridge is falling down & Ring-a-ring-a-Roses?
Why would the only english language books in any library for children under 10 be only comprised of the works of Enid Blyton and Beatrix Potter ?
And speaking of Potter - You know how magic crazy the desi muggles are because most of you have contributed to the wealth of J.K.Rowling.

The Brits laid out the concepts behind our educational system and bureaucracy (thanks for that) amongst other things.
Our spelling and use of language is more British than anything else, although to be fair English is taken on more desi words and sounds like our cup of chai.
I personally could never think of them neutrally (like I would think of a Swiss person) because of their penchant for grabbing whatever they could lay their hands on regardless of the consequences for the grabee.
It seemed to me that maybe they had no respect for anyone besides anything to do with them. You can well understand the resentment,my country had a British Empress once and we are Indian.

Conversely, we were always having cosy, fraternal feelings for the US. They seemed more easy going and had broken off from Britain (adds points to them) and like us spoke english with their native twist.
America gave us Hollywood and Wall Street - 2 things known to every common Indian. The US accent became very familiar to the average desi and there was a phase in our high school when the creme-de-la-creme decided to sport afore mentioned accent just because.
I was extremely comfortable with books and movies from the US, being predominantly, an English speaker because they were more famous, fun,widespread and available.

There then came I time when I started living here in the US and felt right at home with everything (almost).
Until now I never thought about the British except for news snippets with British Primeministers or some adventure of the Royal Family.

Then things changed. My work was in its ending phase and with the voluntary ouster of a colleague, I was made a offer for a position in the UK.
Nothing was known and the position itself was not confirmed, it was just a possibility. I started reading the UK and Ireland editions of Google News.
BBC browsing became a routine and I actually have downloaded lessons on speaking Scottish Gaelic in my system.
I borrowed 'Mind Your Language' DVDs from the Library and rewatched the last 2 Bond movies atleast 10 times (although related, it was actually for some other reason)
The accent was suddenly a little endearing. Then I knew I was in danger of become an Anglophile.
I spoke with my friends who'd been to London and other cities for work and enquired about the lifestyle and conditions there.
Having looked up apartments for rent and Bus company sites for weekend trips to London, I then proceeded to tell almost anyone who'd enquire as to what I was going to do next.
J and I even made plans for sightseeing in May. I read up on the pre-christian pagan culture of the Isles [ask me about Samhain & Beltaine] and all the historical romance novels that Georgette Heyer ever wrote.
I am probably one of the few people of non-UK origin who knows what 'Corinthian' means. I also watched the gangster movies for the feel of the present day UK -
Lock Stock &.., The Bank Job, RocknRolla, LayerCake (I love cake). I also watched all the BBC mini series of the novels of the Brontes and Eyre.

Having done all this, I suddenly started seeing the British men in a very flattering right and as a direct result, started despising the women.
I also noted that in Hollywood some of the most ruggedly handsome men and the most chocolate faced lets-drive-the-teens-crazy guys were imports from UK.
In stark contrast, the women were all very thin, statuesque (and I dont say that with admiration) and perennially smoking.
No female seemed likeable, except Bridget Jones and they had to bring an american to play that role.

I am quite unable to muster any semblence of interest in football (I am Indian and do not deign to call it Soccer).
Hopefully that can be imbibed once I actually land there and soak up the ambience (or the smell of burning petrol from the riots).

Also the coverage of the English on Jon Stewart is mostly just brilliant :) [Hellooooooooow!]

Now, I am still in the Big Apple and will be for the better part of the year. The opportuinity that could've taken me to GB had morphed into a form no longer suited to me and job-wise I have moved on.
Still my interest in the United Kingdom still remains strong. I rather fancy them.
So I drink my English Tea, read the Telegraph UK and dream about going there.

I bet the sun sets on their empire now...

King George of Acerbitude

For your information, the title is contradictory because George Carlin hated the English [he's Irish American so go figure].

While trying to return my George Carlin books I found out that I couldn't. Not that there was any operational issue in the actual returning of the library books- The library was open, I had the books with me, all I had to do would be to drop them in an ubiquitous little collection box and NYPL would accept the prodigal.
It was also not as if the hesitation sprung from not having read the books. I read all 3 (Brain Droppings, Napalm & Silly Putty and When will Jesus bring the Pork Chops) fully and the 'Short Takes' repeatedly. It wasn't the first time I didn't want to send back a book on its merry way; the other books with which I had a similar reaction were - Lord of the Rings, Pride & Prejudice and The Shining.
What I was feeling was a sense of loss if I were to send the books back into circulation. As if the smart alecky, angry and very brutally honest voice would stop inducing me from bursting into a fit of giggles at mere recollection.
Such incidents had been occurring as a pattern especially in mandatory meetings where I had nothing to do but lend an air of glamor to the proceedings with my charismatic presence.
Also while typical the erstwhile commonplace work emails when I would suddenly note that I say 'respond' instead of answer and 'review' instead of 'read'; He saw all and through the clinical eyes of an anthropologist.
That is beyond awesome.

Truth is that it takes very little to amuse me, like today I was so diverted to discover a fluroscent yellow splotch (blend of tumeric and olive oil) on my shirt at the location where I wouldn't want attention (in office & by these people)
But that is neither here nor there.(which would tick old Georgey to no end because he is against the ambigous use of terms to indicate location - here, there)

I probably felt lonely to consider life without sayings like - My motto: F*%K Hope, I finally found out the meaning of Life but then they changed it or I am repelled by Wholesomeness.
As a believer in the almighty and someone who turns to goo at the sight of a slobbery little baby (however cute/un-cute), I know I am the kind of person who Mr.Carlin found so despicably stupid and quite masochistically I enjoy laughing at my ridiculousness.
I loved the parts of the books which dealt with Men & Women and how we got the short end of the stick which led me to infer that maybe the dear author was at some intrinsic level a (dare I say it) Feminist.
But best of all I worship the commentary on Language - the unnecessary doublespeak, the softening of the meanings for political correctness and sharp criticism of the abuse of English.
If it were up to me, I would take some of these excerpts into textbooks for students of English and they would certainly remember these lessons (with glee).

Coming back to my issues of letting go, I have pacified my possessiveness with a temporary extension of return and plan to be the proud owner of the complete bibliography of George Carlin for quenching my long term need to laugh at humanity despite being such a conformed little part of it.

Its true that I am a big Jon Stewart fan and follow Stephen Colbert's tweets but having dug back to source of their style of social/political commentary I realize that the real thing had been here and was now dead (he'd have hated it if I said 'passed on')
Amusing part is, no one else I know seems to be aware of this man's ever having existed or is affected by that information to the degree that I am (besides just one person who signalled '...likes this' on facebook)
Feels like being the solitary keeper of a delicious secret but with the kind of company offered to me, I prize my solitary joys.

My humble thanks to the man who started with 'Is everyone doing good today?' and after hearing a chorus on the affirmative followed up with 'Well, F*%K you!'

This was written a week back but not posted in a gesture that is very characteristically me.
So its my duty to update on the matters that occurred since relating to the subject matter of above post.
Daily Show with Jon Stewart mailed me saying that they have no tickets for me. I returned the George Carlin books this morning (had done max extensions).
If any of my friends are reading this then here's a clue as to what would make a great gift for me (whatever be the occasion)- all or some of George Carlin's books.
Subtlity is also my characteristic.

"Always do whatever's next."-George Carlin

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Sword of Honor or How my DVD drive ate the DVD

Today I found some Brit Miniseries in the Library and on the cover was a very familiar pair of piercing blue eyes gazing into my very soul. It was the Vol 2 but I didnt give a damn.
So as I watched, I began to jolt down the thoughts that popped into my head-
  • If a man in loose khaki knee length shorts with a name like Guy can still appear macho in a movie, he should get an award for ' Standing Straight despite overwhelming Gayness being heaped upon the person'.
  • Anyone using the word 'Indubitably' in a sentence when circumstances are dire is a giant ass.
  • Its impossible to maintain a deep crush on an actor once you've seen him de-objectified. Once that happens you just feel like a shallow flake for having liked someone for his appearance. Then the guilt triples when you see him onscreen all good looking again and go 'Hubba Hubba' (involuntarily, of course). Then you think of every lech in every street corner and bus who tried to paw you when you were barely 12 and think - I am just like that in concept (not implementation) only additionally hypocritical.
  • Second stage of self-loathing sets in when you realize after nearly 60 years of independance when your ideal of manhood is a golden haired blue eyed englishman. So much for reverse racial discrimination.
  • How did the hero find the time and implements to remain clean shaven all through the British Troop withdrawal from Crete in WWII?
  • Was his role in the army to set female hearts aflutter?
  • His eyes are the color of the water in the shores of Crete. I'm a smitten kitten.
  • Just when I think I'm too old to be petty, my revulsion for slate thin, conventionally attractive, icy blonde women goes up a notch.
  • You're never too old to be petty; just too old to be pretty.
  • Being drawn to troubled, angry, forceful men of power and hoping to marry a gentle, stable man shows deep inner conflict; Or conditioning a la Pavlov. Both prospects are highly unsettling.
  • There is something worth noticing about a man who writes in longhand with a fountain pen, even if its in a period movie.
  • Its important to belong somewhere.
  • why can't there be a British war movie without everyone smoking in all scenes?
  • Guys with thin mustaches in WWII movies are either cowardly villians or treacherous scum. That is how you know and will aid you when you scream "Dont trust him, he has a pencil thin mustache!" at the screen when the hero goes to the forest with the creep.
Things were reaching drool point (a threshold of how much pathetic mooning bearable by machinery) when Sri Krishna (my sentinent laptop) shut off my DVD drive and now the 'Sword of Honor' Volume Two is stuck inside. My Computer doesnt show evidence of there ever having been a DVD drive. I have done things that will make my engineering background very proud, restarted my laptop 3 times and drummed on top of the drive. The damn thing won't even light up. That is the problem with a sentinent electronic device, it gets temperamental.
When the System sulking stops and hopefully that is soon, I will be able to rescue the enabling cupid from Sri Krishna's stranglehold.

I long for a chance to call somebody a 'Crentin',

PS: Just realized I never mentioned the name of the actor being referenced in the post above. If you didnt guess/know already- Daniel Craig.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Obvious Science

My current visceral malreactions are towards people who state the blindingly obvious condescendingly or as if it were a revelation to the listener (me).
It happens with unfortunately unerring regularity in my place of stay (which I will not call my apt because I am still looking for a place to call - my apt) and to a more amusing extent during my perusal of the Google News.

So focussing on the less bile invoking option, here are some headlines in the Health and Lifestyle sections over the past few weeks which I thought was just common knowledge but it took a team of scientists years to research and come to the exact same conclusions in some corner of the world (only to be debunked by a small variation of the same in a microsecond?)
Junk food is manufactured to get you hooked - I am so shocked. You mean to tell me the good people at McD, BK, Wendy's are only behind my money and don't care about my behind?
Study Says There No Such Thing as Empty Nest Syndrome - For generations, Indian parents have been happily getting rid of their daughter accompanied by music and gaiety; so yeah this one, I saw coming.
Women show grace under pressure, while men are likely to take risks in the same high stress situations - Which is probably why we don't work on combat duty and only serve drinks at high stakes poker.
Daily sex improves chances of conception for couples where the men have low sperm count - D'uh...try try try again till you succeed works on all levels
Modern men prefer skinny women: Study - This one's right out of the blue! With all those celebrated stars and models who eat bi-annually, I would've never figured its because the men would prefer them, I just thought they were good at what they did. [No, I didnt]
Women more likely than men to hit nail on the head when there is light - Why would that be relevant to anything ever? Its not like 'hitting the nail on the head' was a metaphor...these guys actually mean taking a hammer and hitting a nail with it.
Migraine pain more common in women - that is because we are supposed to be skinny, keep trying to get pregnant and show grace under pressure. try living with that on your head always!
Heavy women have low quality relationships - or the corollary of the previous headline 'Modern men prefer skinny women'
Men, women use Facebook differently - wow...that is so difficult to determine, how did they manage to find out? Next related discovery could probably be that men and women select different options in the signup sheet which asks for gender.
Being careful about the future is in our genes - Mind boggling! Really?! That does explain Life Insurance policies and Wills. So those werent random inventions as previously held by scholars!
Boys 'have sweeter tooth' than girls - that is why girls are sweet and made of "sugar and spice and everything nice". And I extend this great finding with my addendum - Guys have sweeter everything than girls and present for evidence the Daniel Craig in swim suit shaped, grape flavored popsicle. Or was that my evidence for how easily we can cross lines from eye candy to actual candy in a very wrong way? I forget. [I may think he is yummy but eating one of the above mentioned popsicles would take a bite out of the object of my affections...the puns end here]
Men set for 'extinction' - poor things. You became redundant with co-existence of the concepts 'Being Gay' and 'Cloning'. New nail in your coffin human parthenogensis becoming possible.
‘Taller people get fatter pay packet’ - All I needed to get to come to the same conclusion was look at the depressing pay stub of my hobbit sized self.
Macho guys don't always get the girls - Depends on how you define 'get', I would say Guys in general dont 'get' girls.
Care for elderly, be blessed with longer life - its called good karma
Anger 'is down to genes' - Dammit Parents! See what you gave me?! and all I wanted was travel scrabble.
Second-born kids are more rebellious: Research - that's because their spirit is not surgically wrenched from them at an early age with the litany - you are the eldest, you have to adjust and give up for your sister.
'Night owls cleverer, richer than early birds' - oh yeah, where is my money and IQ then? This is so dimwitted it could only be written by a poverty stricken day lark!
'Milky Way's heart tastes of raspberry, smells of rum' - And we wonder why obesity is becoming an epidemic while we blissfully think of the entire universe in terms of food and drink.
World over, rivers are drying up - which is what we should expect in days of 'Global Warming'
Old smiling snaps predict marital bliss - happy people divorce less. This did need some of the best minds working with zillions of dollars to realize.

Coming soon to the Blindingly Obvious section - The Pope's catholic, Sun rises in the east and I need to move.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

A thousand words

As expected of anyone prone to routoundness, I appear even more spherical in photographs. So I tend to not prefer being in photos unless its of a bunch of us friends frolicking or standing around grinning like some runner up sports team, thereby dispering the focus from yours truly. Single shots of me are so rare that you can possibly speculate a huge auction value (but then Sotheby's is at hard ends with the recession so you never know). Besides decent photographers (almost always guys of the group) usually click away the cuter, more glam and stylish girls (i.e. any other girl but me).
If at all I suddenly develop aversion to being ignored so (happens once in a rare while) and insist on being photographed after defeating the photographer in argument, it angers me so much that I had to convince someone to focus on me that I cannot elicit a smile or any semblance of a pleasant expression anymore. I only end up with photos of me grimacing or looking belligerent which does not paint a pretty picture.
So its sufficient to say, I have no good photographs of me.

This lack of pictorial representation didn't figure even for a second in my mind until the dismal response to my matrimony site profile spurred my parents into requiring photos of me to upload. Assumption of the site was that adding my photo would increase the attraction of the profile. I think it panders to the lazy and shallow minded types who'd rather just look at the photo and move on, instead of having to actually read through the content or the junta who browse matrimony sites when they are bored. Nevertheless I bowed to this filial demand, I began the excruciatingly soul wrenching search of all my digital photos featuring me to crop out my visage and send to them.

The ones I selected were no good to the mater and sister who felt either my hair wasn't good in the pic or that I looked chubby in it or both. The astonishing part of the matter is that I do not have good hair and I am chubby, so one would logically assume that any photo of mine would (and should) indicate the same attributes. There was some debate and certain compromises (on their part) was reached as the only alternate was hair weaving, liposuction and hiring the photography team of National Geographic.
Next was the contention on the dress worn in the photograph. My mother insisted on saree photos of me even though I pointed out to her certain facts that didn't seem to mesh with her demand:
1. I have worn a saree all of 7 times in my entire life (first 3 times in high school)
2. I am not comfortable in a saree and do not know how to wear one on my own
3. A certain unspoken image of a person is presented when the prospective groom is shown a photo of her wearing saree (a black and white tamil movie heroine) and I am nothing like that.
But I had to give her this (my mother is a formidable woman) in exchange for her agreeing to let me also put in photos of me in churidhar and casual wear. I call these my what you see is what you get photos.

Last hurdle was of course the space age technology of the site itself. The first 100 attempts at uploads failed once we selected the file from the local disk. This would've frustrated a saint but my mother persevered and reported success at last. Unfortunately, in their attempts to render my photos in the size acceptable to the site they had mangled one photo to completely distorting resolution and I appeared in the second photo to be someone who'd never been exposed to the concept of grooming. My mother was so triumphant in her victory at the upload that I hadnt taken it upon myself to see the results until today.

Having seen me in such unflattering light, the mystery of why the effectiveness of my profile had dropped further became crystal clear (Astrologers had put it down to unfavorable planetary influences). So I personally took charge of uploading my photos this time around.
This activity only made me further marvel the excellent design and user friendliness of the site.
Once the server in all its wisdom had loaded your image from your system, you would be taken to a page where you would be asked to crop your photo and save it so that this can be used as a thumbnail picture which when clicked would show the actual photograph. Except and this was added just for kicks no doubt, the square given to select the part of the photo was not click and dragable. There was nothing that one could do considering the save photo button that one should click after satisfactorily selecting the area to crop was hidden by the photo itself.

In the end, the thumbnail pics of my photos look like reflections from a circus mirror - one elongated, one widened and one just right (that one was the least good of the lot).
Atleast this convinces me that any guy who sees these and still expresses interest in pursuing the possibility of a marriage alliance with me is not doing it from being overwhelmed by my striking physical appearance. Silver lining, I am so good at finding those! Hey, maybe I should add that to my profile :)

I am beautiful no matter what they say 
Words can't bring me down 
I am beautiful in every single way 
Yes, words can't bring me down 
So don't you bring me down today 


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Trump, You should be fired!

This is a horribly disappointing finale.
I didn't know Joan Rivers before this and she is old but she has spoken horrendous things and sabotaged the last contest. You can't diss a 75 yr old (potty mouthed as she is) and that is a disadvantage.

Everyone hates a strong, ambitious, smart and professional woman who doesn't shed tears or call everyone 'Dahlinggg!'

I am not watching next season of Celebrity Apprentice on principle.
If a leader is meant to take good decisions, Trump has failed miserably.

Go Annie Duke and a shout out to all the tough women out there 
Who are the diamonds they are and will not care!

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Late to office

because of oversleeping....


Sunday, April 26, 2009

Count Onsite Co-ord ula

From my fascinations with all things vamp :)

Friday, April 24, 2009

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Delusionist

Well...a girl can dream (of Daniel Craig)..can't she?
[Especially when she is me]

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

An Attempt

I entitle this Single & Platonic.
Inspired by xkcd [Who ROCKS!]

Sunday, February 22, 2009

First Desi Oscars

We knew it was a long time coming but the its finally here!
Such a red letter day my indian brothers  & sisters, my family and that one guy I will marry (when I find him) KUDOS :)

We're proud of you ARRahman (you are a music genius) and Pookutty (you're acceptance speech was A-W-E-S-O-M-E)

Our tricolor flies that much higher today and this is a special day for Mumbai, the eternal.


Monday, February 16, 2009

The long weekend of Daniel Craig movies

I have a four day weekend without much to do and I figured I have some time for a bunch of movies. So I went with my current, intense and unexplainable preference for Daniel Craig.
I also went with choclate icecream and sun-dried cranberries. [pattern being - All things yummy to me]

So Daniel Craig didnt make a ripple in "Tombraider" and just did his fair share in "Munich" but he got (like-like) likeable in "Casino Royale" and got larger than life by"Golden Compass" & "Quantum of Solace". These all were repeat watches for me and I skipped through most.
I disliked him in "Road to Perdition" (didnt care to re-watch) which is good because he was the bad, cowardly dude in the movie. 
So I lined up to watch "Defiance" yesterday and "Invasion" (on DVD) today, for the first time.

Honestly speaking, Daniel (pretending that we are on first name basis) isnt awesome in either. My objection in both cases seem to be petty (and therefore related to the women)- 
The girl in "Defiance" who he is paired up with looks far too young for him(okay so she is as old as I am) and in "Invasion" his object of affection is played by Nicole Kidman (case and point).
Scope for histronics is quite limited in Invasion (he didnt convince anyone that he likes Nicole Kidman) and  unused in Defiance, although Liev Schreiber seems to have taken over adeptly in the latter. He seems to be more of an underplayer (for the more macho air, I suppose). 

Maybe its just me, but I dont like it when Mr.Craig smiles. Smoldering looks, smug smirks, blue eyes piercing with anger and deep pouts (which are sexy versions of sulks) are his thing(can I get an A-men) . The pretty boy next door with the cute English accent( pleese=police, waaa=what) is for the likes of Hugh Grant.

So overall Rain rating of the movies featuring Daniel Craig are- 
  • Invasion - 10 thumbs down (my own 2 was not enough so I borrowed four other people in the vicinity)
  • Defiance - Okay but not good (or bad).
  • Golden Compass - Funky for graphics (DC came in for about 5 very cool mins only)
  • Lara Croft:Tombraider - I liked it for Angelina (also identify with Lara's taste in guys - 1 thumb up)
  • Munich - Awesome in an intellectual way.  (2 thumbs up)
  • Casino Royale/Quantum of Solace- Very cool & stylish. (2 thumbs up and pairing with Eva Green gets a nod )
  • Road to Perdition - Good (2 thumbs up for Paul Newman & Tom Hanks)
To wrap up-
Did you know Daniel Craig was in "Elizabeth"? I dont remember him either.
Decided not to watch Layer Cake (because I hate Sienna Miller) and couldnt get hold of "The Jacket" and "Flashbacks of a Fool".

"Invasion" made my long weekend longer (and not in a good way),

PS: I still heart Daniel Craig :)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

making trouble out of nothing at all...

First there was a system in india, then came a laptop in the US.
Ideally this should've been the end of the story but human nature is based from groundless greed.

Next there was Thanksgiving and there seemed to be a great deal. One thing led to another and now there came into a girl's life, the second laptop. But they were soon to part for the laptop belonged to another and our heroine was anxious to find a way to send the new laptop on its journey to the east.

Then came the bitter winter when a relative of a relative was to meet this scatterbrained twit (and only she allows herself to verbal abuse her) in the evening a mere 2 miles away from home.
But having walked 70% of the way to the rendezvous point, our brave lady chickened out at the sight of dimly lit ways with menacing overhead roads and shady looking people. She decided to flag a taxi having just ended a call with the relative and before she knew it, she had reached.

Like anyone is wont to at this juncture, she got out, took the luggage out and paid the nice man. Then she watched as he went his merry way into the inky darkness. Time to call the relative's relative...only where is the basic means of communication - the cellphone?

What was the license plate of the car? Name of the car company? Did she note the details of the driver himself? Did she atleast remember leaving the phone in the car?
A resounding no to all of the above (this one is for the x-files apparently)

Good point though, she met up with whoever she came to see, she sent the laptop to where it is bound but she has just spent the last 8 hours calling herself to only hear herself ask her to leave herself a message. No ringing.

Could use a good samaritan right about now, at the right time (this past evening), at the right place (the same taxi) and the right state of mind (helpful tendency). If it turns out to be a Daniel Craig look alike who is single...that would just be the stuff romance movies are made of.
Ok...I am willing to negotiate on the greek godliness or the marital status provided my lovely phone is back. Sacrifice is my middle name, also Practical and Observant (its 4 in the morning, I can't sleep and so I have 3 ironic made up middle names)

Phone, where ever you are...come back home. I MISS YOU already,

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

The movie was an extended love letter to New York at night :)
The feature plays on the delicious feeling of familiarity...of being the 'Bridge & Tunnel', going to see indie bands play (mine is limited to Cutting Room and just the once) in New York, seeing the Empire State building all around (where ever you go, kinda like the eye of sauron, except more dearer) and most of all about meeting this stranger unexpectedly and just clicking. 

A natural match of frequencies however temporary or illusional but magical for when it happens.

Micheal Cera is so adorable as Nick (of the title) and the fact that you like him, makes you almost go through the entire journey of the night as a co-passenger in that quirky yellow Yugo.
His role was quite tricky in Juno but somehow he managed to retain that clean cut image of sweetness and he does so in this movie also.

I'd pick Daniel Craig as a masculine ideal without a blink so it surprised me that I like Cera so instantly when he is the very epitome of an awkward fan boy geek. I think we have a dark horse that can run a long race here.

Norah is a well written character also well played by Kat Dennings as an intelligent, poor little rich girl who feels a inferior on account of not bring the image of the American Girl (blue eyed, busty blonde) and is on the lookout for substance in a guy. She is caring, feisty and courageous. You really want to root for this girl because you see some part of you in her.

Caroline and the Gay guys in the band are great too, in the parts that they get to play to bring the hero and the heroine together. Lastly, the music is the running thread in the story but it tastefully stays relevant yet understated when compared to the story and the interactions between the players.

I totally recommend this movie for some nice lazy friday night when you are snug in your couch and have an empathic soul at your side to share this warm, cutesy movie (despite the generous sprinkling of increasingly horrifying yuckiness - watch out for the special journey of the chewing gum). 
If you are single like me, you should watch it anyway if you are or ever have been one or more of the following- 1. Young, 2. In love, 3. A music fan, 4. a New Yorker by residence, work or spirit, or my personal favorite #5 A not so secret closet romantic who just loves the idea of kindred souls.

If music be the food of love...put it on an infinite playlist,

Tuesday, January 06, 2009


Free will is an illusion. I have heard this, felt it minorly before and only considered the concept in theoretical basis. Now I complete get that control over your own life, is just as substantial as a vision of a fountain of chocolate milk in the middle of the Sahara.

Its not like I was foolish enough to resist change. I accept it as a constant, rather the only constant. But all references to a normal life to be torn asunder, for you to be just a wrecked piece of who you used to be and what your world used to be like, one fine day without a sound or ceremony.

Reality just unhinged for me. Suddenly there are no certainities, no answers, no basis of any judgement/decision be it sound or otherwise. No people, no ties, no feelings, nothing familiar.
Nothing to anchor on to the semblence of my erstwhile universe.

It happened naturally and without notice like a season change or ageing. 
Universe decided to shake me out of my comfortable and predictable little niche and plant me on crossroads again. To quote the cliche - "fate is not without a sense of irony".

More frustrated than sad at being given a riddle with absolutely no means to find a resolution, I am completely aware of the fact that its just as well. I have never given up anytime and dont believe in that at all. Just one more turn of the wheel that requires a test of my resilience and spirit of survival. 

Not my idea of how it should be but hey I am just a lazy human in a tiny speck of a larger universe...what do I know?

Bring it on, World. Defiance is infinitely more natural to me than surrender...