Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Sword of Honor or How my DVD drive ate the DVD

Today I found some Brit Miniseries in the Library and on the cover was a very familiar pair of piercing blue eyes gazing into my very soul. It was the Vol 2 but I didnt give a damn.
So as I watched, I began to jolt down the thoughts that popped into my head-
  • If a man in loose khaki knee length shorts with a name like Guy can still appear macho in a movie, he should get an award for ' Standing Straight despite overwhelming Gayness being heaped upon the person'.
  • Anyone using the word 'Indubitably' in a sentence when circumstances are dire is a giant ass.
  • Its impossible to maintain a deep crush on an actor once you've seen him de-objectified. Once that happens you just feel like a shallow flake for having liked someone for his appearance. Then the guilt triples when you see him onscreen all good looking again and go 'Hubba Hubba' (involuntarily, of course). Then you think of every lech in every street corner and bus who tried to paw you when you were barely 12 and think - I am just like that in concept (not implementation) only additionally hypocritical.
  • Second stage of self-loathing sets in when you realize after nearly 60 years of independance when your ideal of manhood is a golden haired blue eyed englishman. So much for reverse racial discrimination.
  • How did the hero find the time and implements to remain clean shaven all through the British Troop withdrawal from Crete in WWII?
  • Was his role in the army to set female hearts aflutter?
  • His eyes are the color of the water in the shores of Crete. I'm a smitten kitten.
  • Just when I think I'm too old to be petty, my revulsion for slate thin, conventionally attractive, icy blonde women goes up a notch.
  • You're never too old to be petty; just too old to be pretty.
  • Being drawn to troubled, angry, forceful men of power and hoping to marry a gentle, stable man shows deep inner conflict; Or conditioning a la Pavlov. Both prospects are highly unsettling.
  • There is something worth noticing about a man who writes in longhand with a fountain pen, even if its in a period movie.
  • Its important to belong somewhere.
  • why can't there be a British war movie without everyone smoking in all scenes?
  • Guys with thin mustaches in WWII movies are either cowardly villians or treacherous scum. That is how you know and will aid you when you scream "Dont trust him, he has a pencil thin mustache!" at the screen when the hero goes to the forest with the creep.
Things were reaching drool point (a threshold of how much pathetic mooning bearable by machinery) when Sri Krishna (my sentinent laptop) shut off my DVD drive and now the 'Sword of Honor' Volume Two is stuck inside. My Computer doesnt show evidence of there ever having been a DVD drive. I have done things that will make my engineering background very proud, restarted my laptop 3 times and drummed on top of the drive. The damn thing won't even light up. That is the problem with a sentinent electronic device, it gets temperamental.
When the System sulking stops and hopefully that is soon, I will be able to rescue the enabling cupid from Sri Krishna's stranglehold.

I long for a chance to call somebody a 'Crentin',
Rain

PS: Just realized I never mentioned the name of the actor being referenced in the post above. If you didnt guess/know already- Daniel Craig.

1 comment:

Sanketh said...

Being drawn to troubled, angry, forceful men of power and hoping to marry a gentle, stable man shows deep inner conflict; Or conditioning a la Pavlov. Both prospects are highly unsettling.

Nice one!