A Fwd
There comes a time when even the most maligned form of communication called a forward starts to make sense to you. It is a symbol of just how lifeless a person can get.
Ordinarily, I would say that fwds have saved me from certain insanity that comes from paid unemployment. Lately however I have begun to understand the importance of pretending to give importance to dignity [whatever that is…]. So one should not enjoy the experience of receiving a mail not written by the sender, which is sent to a million others apart from you showing just how much of a priority you are given and which will no doubt be sent to you repeatedly by all your acquaintances who get it themselves.
So I will be politically correct and say I hate fwds- they are stupid, impersonal and annoying. So are most of the people you are forced to live around, however, we shall pretend that it doesn’t bother us. [Phoney alert]
Having strayed from the main path of just introducing this post, I will try and redeem myself. This fwd I got today morning. I think it’s a sad story of the certain clan of young people who have sold off their right to have a life apart from office to the MNCs they work for.
Cyber Age Movie Story
Hero is a software engineer. He does not have a life worth speaking of. He spends eighteen hours a day in the office working and browsing the net.
Heroine is a software engineer in the same company. She does not have a life either. She spends eight hours in front of her PC, thirteen hours in front of the TV and the remaining, sleeping.
One day, Hero meets Heroine in a staff meeting. They argue endlessly about the insanity of Microsoft applications.. especially Outlook 2003. Couple of such fights later, Heroine is found drinking coffee with Hero in Office canteen.
"What is life?" asks the Hero looking at the vacuum right above her head.
"I've been wondering too." sighs the heroine.
"Why are we fighting over Outlook 2003?" Hero drinks his black coffee.
"And why are we not talking about Lotus NOtes" Heroine sips her Latte.
Hero shakes his head.
"It's not about software products. It is about life. I guess life is much bigger than OUtlook 2003."
Heroine nods. "I think it is. I am not sure though. Do you know that Microsoft has come up with a fix to that bug you've been using to prove Outlook is a worthless piece of garbage?"
"Heroine," Hero is now determined, "From this moment onwards, I am not discussing anything remotely related to software."
"Fine Hero," says Heroine, "Good bye then."
Hero then returns all the Sybase manuals to the library and rents out "how to live a life?"
Heroine meanwhile gets into an altercation with the villain during a conversation on Sharepoint server. Villain vows to format the hard disk of the heroine.
Heroine takes her PC and runs away from the cubicle trying to escape from the villain's evil intentions. Since it is night shift, no one comes to her rescue.
Hero, who has been reading "how to live a life" very seriously, suddenly finds out that he loves the heroine as much as he used to love Tetris. So hero messages Heroine on Yahoo Instant messenger. But there is no reply. Hero does not understand it. He knows that the heroine is supposed to be in night shift. What is she doing in Night shift if not on Yahoo Instant Messenger? As far as he know that is what people are supposed to do in night shift.
Hero senses trouble. He runs barefooted on the InformationSuperhighway and reaches office just in time to see the villain snatch the PC out of heroine's hands and type the command "Format C:\". When his fingers get to the "Enter" key, hero delivers the killer punch on villain's face. Villain is thrown back. But in the process he manages to press the Enter key...
The world comes to a standstill. The sky roars. The Rain pours.Heroine breaks down. Villain is on cloud nine. But our Hero isn't sad.He is smiling. Villain cannot understand. Hero then says, "Villain, You should learn DOS properly. Your grave mistake...".
He shows the monitor to Villain. The DOS command prompt says "Are you sure?".
It is waiting for a "Y" to commence the formatting operation.
Hero then simply presses "N".Villain cries in frustration "Nooooooo" and charges like a bull. Then follows a lengthy fight. Heroine meanwhile calls the police and they come right after hero beats the villain to pulp. Without asking any questions, the police understand who is hero and who is villain andtake him into custody.
Heroine, tears in her eyes, takes her PC, switches it on and jumps with joy when she finds her favorite Calvin and Hobbs collection in tact in her C drive.
"You saved my data" she exclaims.
"No, you saved it yourself." hero says.
"No.. Jesus saves. I don't" she cries.
"Nothing happened na." Hero consoles.
"Let us get married" heroine sheds some more tears, "I want someone by my side to protect the Calvin and Hobbs collection on my PC".
"I love you Heroine" says the hero.
"I love you Hero" says the heroine.
"So you agree that Outlook 2003 is a bad product".
"No I don't. Why not we talk about Lotus nOtes?"
The End.
Ordinarily, I would never post anything I didn’t write myself, but just that, I couldn’t have written a more heart wrenchingly true account of the lives we s/w junta lead myself.
Lets just hope this is the first and last Fwd: Post
Rain
