misfire

I recently overheard a girl saying something to the effect of the person on the other end (a girl I presume) is being too available and it would help if she wouldn't notice him for a while.

Then having been fed on many many stereotypical sitcoms and rom-coms, the following resulted:

Disconnecting starts now...

Things I'll miss about living away from America:
1. Smug Jewish Comedians giving me the daily/weekly dosage of irony, sarcasm and intentionaly poorly veiled double entendre. Or in 2 words - Jon Stewart.
2. Icecream and Chocolate cake for breakfast with a side of seasoned fries.
3. My dream library - whatever books and dvds I want that can be picked up at the place and time convenient to me. For free. [Long live NYPL]
4. Black Coffee. The more the merrier.
5. Seasons- Fall, Spring, Winter.
6. Having a night life without unintentionally screaming- "I am an unmarried adult woman out after sundown. I'm asking for it! Do your very worst."
7. I am a clothes size small petite here.
8. Living my life entirely online. Watching my TV there.
9. Maggi being the staple food of the NRI. Add the soy sauce.
10. No one accuses you of being a "Peter" or a "Mary" when you are most fluent in english.
11. Comic Book stores with washed Aquaman Tees.
Aquaman being the lamest super hero in the entire known set of multiple universes.
12. Washing literally dirty linen in a public laundromat in full view of all strangers who choose to look your way. Yes, that is my underwear.
13. Celebrities cycle into you randomly when you are just trying to cross the street on the way to office. Or sit in the table next to your when you are out having lunch. FYI. I always meet celebrities in the airports on my India trips. 100% successful track record.
14. Usage of double negetives -"You ain't got nothin' " and double positives - "Yeah right!" in everyday talk.

...more to come...

Want to help me by adding to this?

disengaging slowly,

Rain

Magical Realism

Dionysia Circle, 28, died in a freak accident while performing practicals of Apparation Course as she reappeared on to the path of a runaway thestral, 2 feet away from the emergence area.

Ms.Circle who moved to London to study magic after 6 years of IT service industry work was remembered as a enthusiastic student who was older than most teachers at Hogwarts Magical Education of the Elderly program.

She is known to have frequently remarked that learning to apparate would reduce the onsite-offshore resourcing charges not to mention any travel related per diems leading to competitive quotes that translate to more projects thus increasing profitability margins in the third quarter results of the IT company. "Classic Di", remarked one of her apparating class friends," so funny with her irreverent jokes that no body got except that they were absurd and made up words!".

Her apparation ed teacher Mr. Silverfield commented on the unfortunate circumstances of her death. "Quite senseless it was", he grumbled from disgust, "there it was galloping away, minding its own business when she apparated right in front of it, scaring the beejeezs out of the poor thing". He went on to mention that if she had reappeared within the marked circle, the exercise on completion of which she would've gotten her license, the needless Thestral Trauma could have been avoided. "All she needed to do was be less of a cretin but noooo". This is the first recorded case of magical death from being a cretin.

The statistics of trampling accidents involving invisible creatures is growing and so are drunk/underage/unskilled apparating related accidents. Since Ms.Circle's sad demise fits on the union of 2 such large sets, it stands to reason that it would be all the more likely.

The thestral involved, Inviorse, has been admitted for intensive therapy to examine why its feelings of unadequacy about its appearance (wanting to look more like a unicorn), a bane from the media images beamed into every home, lead to its running indiscriminately into a field marked for apparation practice. "Tell me about your mother", we overheard its therapist asking of Invi, as its known to friends. Dr.Fried was addressing the blank space on the opposite corner of the thestral and had to be physically turned around, by our news team, to face his invisible patient.

The IT service company has issued a statement saying "BCP will be implemented and We are happy to announce the Cathbert HR plan to reanimate Ms.Circle's corpse so that she may track to schedule on her allotted tasks after the short rejuvinating vacation provided by the Thestral incident".

Future Gen-e-us ?

Ever since I read about the life cycle of the stars I imagine this scenario in my mind a lot.

The idea of using genome to separate the grain from the chaff, which is the leading moral question about genetics lends itself to such a future situation...

if this is the present, I would like to return it please!

Rain

What the Frac (tal)

I have recently begun reading a column about maths in the NY Times.

Considering my love of physics and space and the contradictory dislike of maths...I realize I am softening my stand on the number side of things with this advancing in age!

Strange but true,

Rain

Luck and Love

It was Lent season, Fat Tuesday came before Ash Wednesday.
On Fat tuesday, there is a special cake made called the King Cake and figure of baby Jesus is put into the cake. Whoever uncovers the figure when they take a piece are supposed to have the luck for the year.
I cut into the whole cake (previously uncut) and in the very first piece saw the tiny plastic legs of the baby sticking out and therefore picked out the figure and am the owner of all luck for 2010.
This surprising show of luck comes in the (almost) heels of me winning the lucky draw at the Holiday Party in december 09 (I think of it as Christmas still).

This leads me to think on a bigger picture question. So far in my life, all my problems have been little and I have had zero short term/small sized luck.
Upside being that whenever there was potential for me to be in deep muck (about twice) I've had a miraclous smooth sailing when the way emerges out of nowhere (which I call good karma and grace of god) that everyone is happy with.
But now that I am sinking into pretty deep muck (best way to describe it without getting explicit) and do need a helping hand into all that is great and good, I am getting this small installments of luck which do make for immediate gratification but have no impact on the overall quality of my life.
That has me worried.

This is the oft heard puzzle/joke/question - if you had a choice between small payouts peppered more frequently through time (with an unstated addendum of you being left to your own devices for any crap that you might get subjected to) or substantial bonuses that come between larger periods of small difficulties (that are well within your limits of tolerance/being able to overcome it)
what would you rather pick?
It seems to greedy to expect to have both short term and long term luck, so we will leave that option out of the pick.

I passed get another made up day that causes a lot of unnecessary grief among my peers in this country with stereotypical company of my own self.
Let another few years go by and the stereotype would be for me to start collecting cats and treating them like people;I am a cat person (but also jell well with dogs, cattle, birds...other species) and proclivity to a conclusion that seems both foregone and dreadful is not pleasant to consider.
To amuse myself on this Hallmark (the company) day, I resorted to watching and reading like I do for the rest of the thankfully ordinary days.
Valentine's Day (the movie) was predictably bland and lifeless. My pattern for picking the one guy as a hawt one and him inevitably being a gay character...continues.
But on the reading front, happily, I am rediscovering my taste for poetry.
Due to my natural pull towards anything celt (I must have been scots-irish in some previous birth), I randomly started reading Robert Burns (To quote "Better off Ted"-Irish drink too much and write overly depressing poetry)a few weeks ago and felt great resonance to his take on life/love in "Thine am I, my faithful fair" (which I always remember wrongly as Thine I am)-
What is life when wanting Love?
Night without a morning:
Love's the cloudless summer sun,
Nature gay adorning.
In poetry, Love is always associated with sunshine and warmth and Depression (or sadness) with darkness and cold. Scientists have shown links between night owl teenagers (who I used to be before I became a night owl adult)who rise late and miss the sunshine being less effective and happy.
I guess either poets had a scientific observation or that its just common instinctive sense of what goes together.
But getting back to the quote above, I liked the imagery evoked. I am in no hurry to get back to Sylvia Plath (Daddy was dark!) because I would like to not get to that place (like ever).
My 'embrace the inner darkness' phase is gone or atleast waning so I don't want to encourage anything that will increase its potency. I mostly want it gone because the people I interact with (not at professional capacity) are clueless to deal with the likes of me in the full throes of delirious joy from acceptance of my inner demons.
Its predictably disturbing to them. I might as well go goth all the way for the kind of unease I inspire in them even in a faceless interface like a text chat.

My sis and poet/blogger sent me some Pablo Neruda poems yesterday. She is well versed in espaniol (writing, reading and speaking) and enjoys spanish language movies and songs.
I recently saw "Like Water For Chocolate" (subtitles!) and I didn't like it at all [interestingly, the lead made king cake in the movie]. Magical realism doesn't go well with me which is also why I was left with a bad taste in the mouth after completing "Mistress of spices".
Spanish literature seems strewn with that keyword ('magical realism'...not 'mistress' you dirty dirty thing you). I didn't like 'Love at the time of cholera' but did like 'One hundred years of solitude'. So I approach Neruda with the mindset(its unfair but I am a bad bad girl) that I will probably not find the resonance I feel when I read (say)"Passionate Shepard to his love".
I mean, C'mon - "Come live with me and be my love and all the pleasures we will prove." what beats that? [mind turns to mush and subject starts drooling]. That one hits the spot every time.
Ol Shakesy is pretty good too. I read his poem on Aphrodite called "Venus and Adonis" that interestingly gave a backstory to why love is also so much pain; she apparently curses after Adonis dies (foolishly, not heeding her words...[men!!!])-
'Since thou art dead, lo, here I prophesy:
Sorrow on love hereafter shall attend:
It shall be waited on with jealousy,
Find sweet beginning, but unsavoury end,
Ne'er settled equally, but high or low,
That all love's pleasure shall not match his woe.

'It shall be fickle, false and full of fraud,
Bud and be blasted in a breathing-while;
The bottom poison, and the top o'erstraw'd
With sweets that shall the truest sight beguile:
The strongest body shall it make most weak,
Strike the wise dumb and teach the fool to speak.

'It shall be sparing and too full of riot,
Teaching decrepit age to tread the measures;
The staring ruffian shall it keep in quiet,
Pluck down the rich, enrich the poor with treasures;
It shall be raging-mad and silly-mild,
Make the young old, the old become a child.

'It shall suspect where is no cause of fear;
It shall not fear where it should most mistrust;
It shall be merciful and too severe,
And most deceiving when it seems most just;
Perverse it shall be where it shows most toward,
Put fear to valour, courage to the coward.

'It shall be cause of war and dire events,
And set dissension 'twixt the son and sire;
Subject and servile to all discontents,
As dry combustious matter is to fire:
Sith in his prime Death doth my love destroy,
They that love best their loves shall not enjoy.'

How very true...huh? Pretty Awesome!!!
You'd think for someone who likes his work and who's thinking around the theme of V day, I would put in a good word for the seminal 'Romeo and Juliet'.
But fat chance my dear...I remember reading out passionate lines from that very play to Jay and B in the library, while all 3 of us were bubbling in mirth. Yes, we are the kind of people who laugh when Juliet looks at the dead body of her love and chides him for not leaving her any poison.
Judge away. Play was well written and everything, I just find young love comical; they were 15 yrs old for gods sake! at that age we were worried about school and exams...not comparing anyone to a freaking summer's day.The more intense or earnest they got, the more funny it was (is?) to us.
Think a line from Valentines Day sums it up best - Young Love...so impractical.
Back then, in school, my taste in poetry ran more into the intensely religious William Blake stuff and the other extreme...the very wonderful, light tone of Ogden Nash's poetic take on everything from going to the dentist to mosquitoes.

Coming back to the V theme, I am listening in a loop for weeks together to the song Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machine. It has very dark lyrics on the subject of feelings for a lover that attracts me-
"The Sun, The Moon, They have all been blown out
You've left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight;
In the shadows of your heart."

and also - " So darkness I became"
Ladies, this is a must when you are trying to accept your rage against a one who is senselessly dropping laundry around the house (for you to pick up, presumably) when all you want to do is love him, having given up practically your entire life.
Guys, you will not like it. But if you do, let me know...you might be worth knowing (or going by my pattern - gay; but still worth knowing)

In all, I am thankful for the little luck, presence of love and support (regardless of lack of the cupidy, red colored, heart shaped kind) and the abundance of knowledge and creative art (learning & expressing) for me to feast on for the rest of my life.
These are my joys and I am truly grateful to have them.

Also On 23rd Feb...I went to the taping of the show that comes on night after night (yet not called the nightly show) and blurted inadvertently loud words of love to the host and he returned the words sweetly (and made up pretty much the entire 28 yrs that I have spent not saying anything romantic). Thankfully those are my lovely memories and were not shot on camera or broadcast.

I am definitely the lucky one :)
Rain

Inevitability of Ugly Singleton Invisibility

As an amateur social theorist, a watcher of human relations and with my experiences of being myself...I've had certain consistent results come through, over a period of time, based on which I have come to the conclusion that under some specific conditions a person can become invisible or even completely disappear.

Here's my pseudocode for this condition:

IF

(AGE >= x) &

(STATUS = 'SINGLE') &

(LOOKS IN ('UGLY','FAT','NOT CUTE'))

THEN

{

DISAPPEAR_FLAG = 'Y' WHERE GROUP = 'ALL_FRIENDS';

OVERRIDE_DISAPPEAR = 'Y' WHERE GROUP IN ('FAMILY','TROUBLE@WORK','BILL_PAYMENTS')

}

ELSE

{

DISAPPEAR_FLAG = 'N';--FOR ALL GROUP

OVERRIDE_DISAPPEAR = 'Y'; --FOR ALL GROUP

}

The silver lining for this is that the blurring of existence is only on the physical plane.

In cyberspace you are as alive as the frequency of your social networking/microblogging site updates.

That way you can have friends who'll know what you are up to without them actually having to be with you (or care in the very least).

And that works great for them.

Here's my semi-autobiographical panel-

King George of Acerbitude

For your information, the title is contradictory because George Carlin hated the English [he's Irish American so go figure].

While trying to return my George Carlin books I found out that I couldn't. Not that there was any operational issue in the actual returning of the library books- The library was open, I had the books with me, all I had to do would be to drop them in an ubiquitous little collection box and NYPL would accept the prodigal.

It was also not as if the hesitation sprung from not having read the books. I read all 3 (Brain Droppings, Napalm & Silly Putty and When will Jesus bring the Pork Chops) fully and the 'Short Takes' repeatedly. It wasn't the first time I didn't want to send back a book on its merry way; the other books with which I had a similar reaction were - Lord of the Rings, Pride & Prejudice and The Shining.

What I was feeling was a sense of loss if I were to send the books back into circulation. As if the smart alecky, angry and very brutally honest voice would stop inducing me from bursting into a fit of giggles at mere recollection.

Such incidents had been occurring as a pattern especially in mandatory meetings where I had nothing to do but lend an air of glamor to the proceedings with my charismatic presence.

Also while typical the erstwhile commonplace work emails when I would suddenly note that I say 'respond' instead of answer and 'review' instead of 'read'; He saw all and through the clinical eyes of an anthropologist.

That is beyond awesome.

Truth is that it takes very little to amuse me, like today I was so diverted to discover a fluroscent yellow splotch (blend of tumeric and olive oil) on my shirt at the location where I wouldn't want attention (in office & by these people)

But that is neither here nor there.(which would tick old Georgey to no end because he is against the ambigous use of terms to indicate location - here, there)

I probably felt lonely to consider life without sayings like - My motto: F*%K Hope, I finally found out the meaning of Life but then they changed it or I am repelled by Wholesomeness.

As a believer in the almighty and someone who turns to goo at the sight of a slobbery little baby (however cute/un-cute), I know I am the kind of person who Mr.Carlin found so despicably stupid and quite masochistically I enjoy laughing at my ridiculousness.

I loved the parts of the books which dealt with Men & Women and how we got the short end of the stick which led me to infer that maybe the dear author was at some intrinsic level a (dare I say it) Feminist.

But best of all I worship the commentary on Language - the unnecessary doublespeak, the softening of the meanings for political correctness and sharp criticism of the abuse of English.

If it were up to me, I would take some of these excerpts into textbooks for students of English and they would certainly remember these lessons (with glee).

Coming back to my issues of letting go, I have pacified my possessiveness with a temporary extension of return and plan to be the proud owner of the complete bibliography of George Carlin for quenching my long term need to laugh at humanity despite being such a conformed little part of it.

Its true that I am a big Jon Stewart fan and follow Stephen Colbert's tweets but having dug back to source of their style of social/political commentary I realize that the real thing had been here and was now dead (he'd have hated it if I said 'passed on')

Amusing part is, no one else I know seems to be aware of this man's ever having existed or is affected by that information to the degree that I am (besides just one person who signalled '...likes this' on facebook)

Feels like being the solitary keeper of a delicious secret but with the kind of company offered to me, I prize my solitary joys.

My humble thanks to the man who started with 'Is everyone doing good today?' and after hearing a chorus on the affirmative followed up with 'Well, F*%K you!'

Rain.

Since

This was written a week back but not posted in a gesture that is very characteristically me.

So its my duty to update on the matters that occurred since relating to the subject matter of above post.

Daily Show with Jon Stewart mailed me saying that they have no tickets for me. I returned the George Carlin books this morning (had done max extensions).

If any of my friends are reading this then here's a clue as to what would make a great gift for me (whatever be the occasion)- all or some of George Carlin's books.

Subtlity is also my characteristic.

"Always do whatever's next."-George Carlin

Rain

Change Resistant

Late to office

because of oversleeping....

:p

Rain

Count Onsite Co-ord ula

From my fascinations with all things vamp :)

Statistically speaking...

The Delusionist

Well...a girl can dream (of Daniel Craig)..can't she?

[Especially when she is me]

An Attempt

I entitle this Single & Platonic.
Inspired by xkcd [Who ROCKS!]